XxSecretsxX
by NeeNee16
Summary: Can you live with A-B-U-S-E? Can you speak A-B-U-S-E? Can you relate to A-B-U-S-E? Courtney can and has since she was a little girl. But when will she finally break free? Who will break her free? CXD story R&R!*warning* SUPERR MATURE!
1. Quarter Home Secret

**A/N: This is a story about Courtney kinda growing up and dealing with certain things that children shouldn't need to at a young age. She's been exposed to a lot of shit and basically the shit she goes through, she over comes by being smart and proactive. But will she always know what to do when things are bad? Will she ever give up? Will she ever stand up to her mom.. Her dad? Or maybe her own sister? Courtney's getting older and as she ages her body changes as well as feelings, especially towards guys but she doesn't want to turn out like sister. She's going into a new school with a different kind of attitude. Please Read and Review by givin me ideas or constructive criticism. **

**Thx - Neen **

Part 1: "Quarter" Home Secret

_I knew my life would be different moving up a grade level and I knew my family would start to treat me different, but I never knew I would be changing too. Coming right out of elementary school into middle school was just a whole new story. _

_I always dreamed of going to the perfect private school with perfect boys and girls where there would be no drama or teasing. Everyone would move out of the way for miss Courtney and treat me like the beautiful princess I am.. A treatment I've never received from anyone, not even my own family. But now…_

"COURTNEY!" I'm awaken from my day dreaming and brought back to the real world of my mother screaming, my older sister nagging and, my always gone father.

"Coming!" I hollered back. I roll off my thick bed and land onto the floor. My room is light pink and purple with flower borders and butterflies. I have a dresser with a huge mirror that is the color of peach and in good shape.. Well it hides the 'evidence' anyways. My room is probably the cleanest and organized in the house. I open my pink door and run down the stairs to the kitchen where my mother is braiding my sisters hair. The kitchen is actually clean for once, well after I cleaned it an hour ago, but I'm still surprised my mother hasn't broken or dirtied up anything.

"Yes mom?" I answer in a friendly voice.

"You know, school starts tomorrow." She looks up at me with her gorgeous light brown eyes and wavy thick brown hair that hasn't been brushed in over two days. Her cigarette fills the room with thick smoke and I cough.

"Yes…" I reply standing still and trying not to cough.

"Well, what are you going wear?" She asks taking a puff of her cigarette and takes a break from braiding. I look at my mother confused.

"What do you mean?" I ask walking closer to my mother.

"I swear little sisters can be so stupid!" Charity, my 16 year old sister, says under her breath. I stick my tongue out and pout.

"Stop it Charity before I give you something else that'll really hurt." My mom and sister share a staring silent moment, both with exaggerated looks. Mom's expression: "Don't make me get my belt and beat the shit out of you". Charity's Expression: "Bitch I wish you would." I stand their watching and finally my sister gets up cursing and walks out the door.

"SEE IF YOU GET BACK IN!" My mother jumps up after and locks the door. "I swear your sister is gonna get fucked up one day, you watch and see."

_My family is very.. Odd from others. You'd expect it to be perfect, beautiful mansion house with a mom that works, cooks and cleans. A nice older sister who hasn't had 3 abortions and respects my mom. And a dad. A dad who…_

"COURTNEY!" My mom smacks my rosy red cheek. I jump startled.

"Yes." I rub my cheek almost about to cry, however, I'm so used to it that it doesn't even throb anymore.

"What the fuck are you going to wear tomorrow! You're starting a new fuckin school with more bitches who ain't gon do shit but make fun of ya ass and yo brain." My mother walks back over to the counter and smokes her cigs. I look at her mad. I didn't even stop to notice her ugly attire she's wearing today. Booty shorts with a tube top with her saggy boobies just hanging down. Lookin like the sideline hoe she is.

"Well I guess that since daddy isn't here to dress me, then I'll choose something that's appropriate for the occasion." I smile and my mother instantly runs back over to me and doesn't hesitate to smack the shit out of me again. I fall back on my butt and look up at her about to start crying for real. I rub my cheek and that only makes her more mad. She grabs my arms and shakes me back and fourth with her cigarette only inches from my face.

"WHAT THE FUCK DID I TELL YOU ABOUT USING THAT GOD DAMN LANGUAGE IN MY FUCKING HOUSEHOLD!" She pulls me off the floor and spanks me with her bare hands, pulling up my poofy dress to expose the other bruises she's left there. I scream and cry trying to get out of her grip but fail. I finally give up and she throws me on the ground. "GET TO YOUR ROOM!" I flee away quickly and slam my door shut.

My mother hates me. Allow me to introduce her. Her name is Courtney Bianca Sterling. A 28 year old child who's been through more shit than babies sit in in their diapers. Yeah lame I know but it's true. She's been in and out of school throughout her life with multiple guys who just want to screw her. She's not the brightest marker in the box but surely beautiful. My mother is absolutely flawless on the outside, well when she wants to be. But in the past few years.. Hmm since I was born, from what my sister tells me, she's been different. Married my dad and ever since I've been born and 'stole' her name she's hated me. Apparently my mom didn't name me at birth, daddy did. Which is kinda odd but I don't know. It's funny how I know more about my mother than she probably didn't even know about herself. It's funny how I can know all of this and not walk one day beside her.

I keep everything to myself. Nothing will dare to cross or connect to my secrets. Nobody will know the secrets I have kept, the secrets I have done, or the secrets that lie in my own house. Nobody will know the inside. But people will believe the outside.

_This is not the way an 11 year old should be treated, but yet nothing will tear me down._


	2. Half Home Secret

_Dear Diary, _

_The house is quiet. It's 11 o'clock p.m. and I'm wide awake. Daddy still hasn't come home, so I know mother is down stairs crying or drinkin herself to death. Nothing new. My sister snuck back into the house, climbing through my window and forcing me to make her dinner. Mother didn't speak to me for the rest of the day thank god. I wouldn't be able to take another whoopin. Oh wait! The garage door just closed. Daddy's home. Time for me to fake.._

I stop writing in my diary to listen.

"WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN ALL NIGHT!" My mother screams at the top of her lungs. "I'VE HAD TO DO EVERYTHING ALL BY MYSELF AGAIN!" I frown in bed and turn over. I hate my mom. She lies to daddy about everything. I really don't need to be awake right now. I need to hurry up and go back to

"MARISSA! WHAT THE FUCK YOU DOIN WHIT DAT BITCH AT 12 MIDNIGHT? FUCKIN? YOU BEEN FUCKIN AIN'T YOU! DROP DEM DRAWZZ!" I hear a smacking sound and I immediately hide under my covers. I can't have daddy coming up to my room tonight. NOT TONIGHT! Tomorrow is suppose to be the best day. My first day of middle school. I can't take it right now. I CAN'T! And so I scream. Loud as hell.

"Courtney!" Daddy rushes up the stairs and bursts into my room. I quickly hide my diary under my pillow. He looks like he's had one hell of a night. Sloppy hair and the gel has obviously been sweated out, wrinkled shirt and pants, he even smells like perfume. How does mommy not notice?

"Oh sweetheart, what's wrong?" Daddy storms to my side and picks me up into his arms. "Aw honey, I'm so sorry I left you alone for so long. I know how it is when we are far apart. I promise I won't do it again." I quiver at his every words.

"_Promise I won't ever do it again" _

_X_

_X_

_X_

_X_

_X_

_X_

"_Sweetheart"_

_X_

_X_

_X_

_X_

_X_

_X _

"_Honey" _

_X_

_X_

_X_

_X_

_X_

_X_

"_I left you alone… for… so …long" _

_X_

_X_

_X_

_X_

_X_

_X_

_X_

"_Promise I won't ever do it again….?"_

_X_

_X_

_X_

_X_

_X_

_X_

_X_

My mother peeps into the room and looks at us.

"You two make me SICK!" She slams my room door and goes down the stairs doing what she does best, cursing.

"Don't worry about your mother. Everything will be okay now." Daddy puts me down on my bed and I begin to shake. Please daddy not tonight. He stares at me for a long moment and tears even begin to swell up in his eyes. I hold my blanket close to me and pray inside my head.

"Well", Daddy finally speaks, "Ima go on down here with yah mom and tryto talk to her. Tomorrow is your big day." I smile, my prayer worked.

_Not Tonight_

_X_

_X_

_X_

_X_

_X_

_X_

Daddy tucks in me tight and kisses my forehead, back up and looks at me. He kisses my cheek, backs up and looks at me. Then he closes his eyes, and moves toward my lips. I press my blanket to my lips and grunt. He opens his eyes and backs away.

"You're right Courtney, it's too late." He smirks this smirk I have always hated. HATED! Ever since I was 4 years old. The smirk that shows his two front teeth biting his lower lip. The smirk that means.. He's got something on his mind, something I don't want to know but already do.

**6:00 A.M. First Day of Middle School**

My alarm sounds and I jump up. I open my eyes and yawn. My routine use to be to get my parents up so daddy can start breakfast and mother can do absolutely nothing. Wake my sister up and then do what I have to do. But now it's changed, since I've gotten older. I wake up, take a shower and put on my underwear. Go wake daddy once I've got that on, with only that on and bring him back into my room so he can decide what I was going to wear for the day. And so I did.

Daddy came into my room and yawned sleepily. He walks over to my closet and opens it to expose all of my beautiful dolly doll clothes, my only clothes. He picks out a purple dress with ruffled sleeves but then stops and sighs.

"Sweetheart", my heart pounds through my chest. Not this morning daddy not this morning.

"Yes daddy." I reply. He smiles but then sighs again. He likes it when I call him that. It grosses me out.

"You do realize you're getting a little old for me to be picking out your clothes everyday, right?" I smile. It's about time he noticed.

"Yes daddy." I say waiting for his next words.

"Good, then I think it's time you decide what you're going to wear. Plus, I'm still a little tired. I'm going to get coffee started and a toast pop tart for you and Chastity." I giggle. Daddy has never been able to remember my sisters name. "Is that fine?"

I smile and run to hug my daddy. "Oh yes daddy! I'm so happy!" He leans down to kiss me forehead and I let go immediately.

"Okay well hurry now, you don't want to miss the bus." Daddy exits my room and closes the door behind him.

"YESSSSSSSSSS! I GET PRIVACY!" I whisper/ scream to myself in excitement! I quickly go through my closet trying to find the perfect fit. But, everything I own is fancy and elegant. I grab a ruffled white blouse and knee length brown skirt with white stockings to wear. I decide to wear my brown flats and wear my hair down today with a couple of clips in it.

When I finished getting dressed, I get my backpack together. A couple of notebooks, schedule, and not to forget, my diary.

"Courtney!" My daddy calls up to me.

"Coming daddy!" The moment I walk out of my room, my I bump into my sister and frown.

"Hey watch it." I say trying to get down the stairs.

"Whatever, so not in the mood today!" Charity goes into the bathroom and lights up her steamy shower. I continue down the stairs to daddy.

He turns around from the stove and looks at my outfit. He smiles beautifully at my figure and my outfit. "Courtney, you look amazing." He walks over to me and kisses my forehead. "You did very good."

I smile. Of course I did. My mother comes around the corner of the kitchen from the family room with nothing on. I shudder.

"Is it really necessary for you to be walking around like that? Why can't you dress like your daughter?" My mother frowns at him and smacks him.

"You got the fuckin nerve." My mother walks over to me and looks me up and down. "Not bad for your first time." She chuckles in her throat and frowns. "Have a great day at school." She walks back into the family room and laughs extremely loud.

I look down. "Don't do that sweetie. Never look down on yourself. You're beautiful. No one will tease you, I promise."

_NO ONE will tease you I Promise…._

_XXXXXXX_I Hang on to last phrase.

"Okay precious, here's your milk and pop tart. But where the hell is your sister?" Whoa daddy just dropped a bomb. He rarely never curses around me. But when it comes to my sister, hell nobody hesitates. "CHASSITY!"

"CHARITY YOU MORON!" She hollers coming down the stairs. Daddy frowns at her attire and attitude.

"Well your food is done and you can get your own drink. Walk to the bus stop carefully." Daddy folds his arms and exit's the kitchen.

"Thanks fag dad." Charity grabs my arm and her pop tart and pulls me outside the front door.

When we step outside, she snatches my milk and drinks it whole. When finished she breaks the glass straight in the street.

"You're a bitch." I say getting onto the sidewalk while she walks in the street.

"And.. You're a suck up. But I ain't complainin." She stuff her mouth with the pop tarts.

"You know you don't have to be such a meanie all the time."

"And you know you don't have to suck dad's dick every day." I run into the street and kick her. That was low blow.

"Hey I'm joking… I mean.. unless you really do.." .

"SHUT UP!" I scream at the top of my lungs.

"Whatever, look lets just walk to the bus stop and ride this thing to hell." Charity and I walk to the stop and await our final destinations.

**A/N: REVIEW!**


	3. First and may be my last

_Dear Diary, _

_This is school isn't as big as my elementary school was. However, the teachers are nice, but the uh.. Students… kinda wild. I'm in my 3__rd__ period class and I keep getting these weird stares from these girls that are dressed in what my dad calls 'rags'(jeans, t-shirts, shorts, basically anything that looks cheap and easy to put on). There's nothing really exciting going on though. Lunch starts next hour. And oh there's the bell._

I put down my pencil and put my diary into my backpack. I follow the other students outside the door and open my hand to see my hand written schedule. Next block is English, room 154. I make my way to the other end of the hallway and make it into the class room. I see a lot of students know each other I guess from the past. Then I feel something tap my shoulder.

"AGh!" I jump.

"Hey Courtney!" I look to see its my old 'friend' Beth.

"Oh.. Hey." I say like one of those 'Oh great you again, I was glad I was away from you at graduation now I gotta deal with you for another 3 years!' She pulls me into a hard hug and smiles afterwards.

"Lets find a seat together!" She grabs my arm to go to the back but I pull back.

"Actually I wanted to sit more towards the front." I say moving back into my place.

"But the front is where the smart people sit!" I frown at her.

"What's that suppose to mean? You use to sit by the teachers desk and everything last year!" I say while she sits down behind me.

"That's because he was really HOT!" She smiles and day dreams and something shiny in her mouth almost blinds me.

The bell rings and five guys all walk in extremely late and the teacher shakes his head. Of course they go to sit in the back.

"What are those in your mouth?" I ask disgusted.

"OMG! YOU SEEN THEM! They're newwww. They call them braces." She smiles and shows me and I signal her to close her mouth.

"Yeah.. Uh I've heard of those. Good thing I don't need them." I turn around from facing Beth after she shrugs. I look at the teacher and smile and he smiles back.

"Well welcome everyone to 6th grade English. It's great to see everyone here, even those who were late." He coughs and gives mean glimpses to the guys in the back. I giggle.

"However, it doesn't matter, I'll let it fly today but it won't happen again." The teacher walks back and fourth in front of the classroom and begins his lecture.

"Okay well my name is Mr. Mass. I am a very good teacher and love students your age." The guys in the back of the classroom crack up laughing. I look back to see one is staring at me with his weird hairstyle I've never seen before… a green Mohawk? Wow. I turn around and Beth whispers in my ear.

"That guy is looking at you." We both look back again and now all five of them are looking at me and the green guy is whispering something. I squint my eyes. The teacher continues to talk but then he says that he's giving us assigned seats. Well I'm used to it. The others classes I'm in are the same way.

"Alrighty then, everyone up and to the front of the classroom. Please sit where I tell you." He looks at his clipboard and starts assigning seats. I'm actually happy I will be away from Beth because her breath is kinda hot today. Maybe it's those braces…

"Courtney Bianca Sterling, right here." I look up to hear my full name called and look around. Daddy? No.. Mr. Mass.. Oh.. My assigned seat. Wait.. It's in the.. Back?

"Oh no, Mr. Mass I'd rather sit up front actually, I-"

"Ms. Sterling, please take your seat." I walk over to my seat unhappy and sit down with my backpack under my desk. He continues to tell people their seats and I feel something weird tickling my neck. I turn around.

"Aw my bad", the kid says. "Sup? Names DJ". I give him my hand to shake but he looks at it like I'm crazy. "What's that? Look we give dap around hur." He takes my hand and balls it into a fist and pounds it on top of his. Above and under.

"Oh, well uh where I come from we give hand shakes." I smile and turn back around. He laughs crazily behind me.

"Hey you gotta crew to sit whit at lunch?" DJ asks me.

"No, actually I don't", I say back. "But why does that concern you?" I turn back around to face him and lift a brow, concerned.

"Aw well I can see you kinda new round hurr. How bout you sit whit my crew when da bell rangs? Koo? We sit on da far left of da cafeteria… or you can just follow me if you'd like." He winks at me and I notice in the corner of my eye the green guy sittin diagonal from me kinda mad. I twist my head to make direct eye contact and immediately im heart sinks. I'd never seen anything so ugly.

"You watcha say?" DJ winks at me again and I look down kinda confused. If I sit with them then Beth won't make me sit with her.. Hmm Beth's breath or DJ's winks? Oh YEAH definitely DJ.

"Sure." I smile and from the corner of my eye I see the Mohawk boy smirking but looking at the teacher. It's like he's reading someone's mind and liking what they are saying.. Or better yet.. Mine.

"Aw miss Courtney, would you please turn around in your seat? I am about to explain the rest of the classroom rules." I turn around and sit properly in my seat, making direct eye contact to the teacher.

**11:30 AM Lunch**

The bell finally rings and my ears are swollen from Mr. Mass lips running. I walk into the busy hallway and make my way down to the cafeteria but out of nowhere I fill my diary ripped from my hands onto the floor. I gasp.

"Oh My gosh! NO!" I scramble onto the floor and starting picking up everything. Nobody can read this, see this,, touch this! It's mine with shocking evidence of… stuff.. Stuff I can't manage to read over… stuff I have to write down. I look up into the eyes of the menace who I saw do it and his beautiful light green eyes….? WDH! I get up and yell at him. Suddenly I fell strong arms holding me back and hollering at him. Trent? That's his name.

"Grow up man." Trent walks off laughing with the same group of people that were just in my class. Jerks.

"You okay?" DJ rubs my arm and smiles. I almost forget to answer. But then I feel this sore rubbing against my bone and I jump back grabbing my arm.

"Oh yeah uh, just fine. Thank you." I laugh to myself and then he hands me my diary.

"I think dude knocked this out of your hands, I tried to get here fast-" I instantly grab it and hold it close to my chest with a serious expression on my face.

"Did you read it!" I frown very disgusted.

"Of course not. I just knew it was yours. I did happen to pick a few papers up though that were scrambled on the floor, you draw very good." I snatch those from him too and say an instant thanks.

"Okay well uh, lets go to lunch." We walk to lunch kinda in silence. It's awkward but I'm so used to it, it doesn't even bother me.

"So uh, you uh from here?" DJ asks scratching the back of his head.

"Yeah, I've lived here all my life. But if I had the choice.. I'd leave in a heartbeat." I say honestly walking into the cafeteria.

"Yepp me too." We walk to a corner of the cafeteria where a bunch of guys and like two girls are sitting.

"Supp yall? Dis is muh new friend Courtney." They all say hi to me but they all look at me like I'm some kind of alien.

"Ah.. Courtney? Who uh… dresses you? Barbie?" This one girl laughs. She has jet black hair with highlights and it's obvious she must be the bitch of the group.

"Actually no, but she told me to give you some advice." I smile back and everyone "oh's" like I just clowned her or something..?

"Take it back!" She says getting up from her seat to get in my face. I back away.

"I didn't come over here to get insulted, I just wanted to meet some new people." I say tense in my voice.

"Well you chose the wrong clan." She looks down at me because she's slightly taller than I am. Then I hear someone's voice tell her to sit down and shut up.

"We don't need none of that today Heather." I look over to see it's the Mohawk boy. Hmm trying to stand up for me! Wow..

"Whatever, just make sure she stays in her place." She rolls her eyes and walks away. I watch her go over to the jerk who knocked my diary out of my hands a few minutes ago. Trent.

"Don't worry about her or them.. They're the evil couple. Been together since elementary school.. 4th grade? I believe. But yeah.. Names Geoff. This is my girl Katie." I wave at them.

"We're pretty much the party couple I guess you can say… always up for some fun. Been together for 5 months." I nod and sit by DJ. The Mohawk boy tenses some but I ignore it.

"I'm Justin. Not much to say about me but that I'm totally HOT!" He flexes in front of the table and I hear a lot of moaning from the cafeteria. I roll my eyes. He's okay I guess but not my type. I tear open my PB&J sandwich and start eating properly. I hear Mohawk boy laughing.

"What's funny?" I squint my eyes at him. He stops laughing and looks at me.

"I didn't say anything was funny." First time I heard him talk. And god his voice is magical. Strong but young..

"I know you didn't but you were laughing." I say back. The table watches us duel back and fourth.

"Look whatever, I'm out." The guy gets up and starts to leave.

"Aye man, where you goin?" DJ asks.

"To my next class." The guy walks away and I watch as he leaves. What did I do? I look down and suddenly don't have much of an appetite.

"I'm going to go to the restroom." I say pack my lunch back up. DJ looks at me.

"What? You didn't even eat much. Well if you're going to go, then I think I should come with-"

"NO! I mean.. I'll be fine. The bell will ring any second. I won't get lost." I get up and find my exit to the cafeteria. But I hear voices talking. One Mohawk boy but he's talking to some girl.

"You know what I mean Gwen, it's just not working." Gwen? Who's that? Oh so now he has a girlfriend. Isn't that just great. I listen for more.

"Why isn't it! Oh I know why.. Because you won't give me a chance!" She yells at him and I see a hall monitor making their way towards here. I hide behind the wall.

"Yeah babe, I guess so. I'll see you later okay." Suddenly I hear a loud smack and her curse at him then stomping.

"Wow." I whisper to myself.

"I know right." I jump away from the wall and look into it. W. D. F! "Yeah I heard you." I blush a little.

"It was an accident, I didn't want to interrupt." I say.

"Or you were just eavesdropping and wanted to know what I was about." He comes around the corner and leans against the wall. His cheek is red.

"It's all good." But this wasn't Mohawk boy. This was the jerk.. Trent.

"Oh uh.. It's you." I turn back around ready to leave his presence but he grabs my arm smoothly and holds it.

"I'm sorry okay? I was just kidding back there." He smiles at me with his beautiful light green eyes.

"Well it wasn't a joke. I mean if it were any other book.. It'd be okay I guess but this is different." I stroke my diary gently and Trent looks at it.

"What is it?" He asks. He motions me to sit by the door and I sit.

"Well it's a chain.. Of ummm.. Different things that have happened in my life." I say slowly and kind of hesitant.

"Can I see?" He reaches over and I pull away.

"Sorry… uh no." He frowns but then ponders some and the frown eases into a smile.

"No worries. I have secrets of my own too. I could share them with you if you'd like." His smiles becomes kind of grim. Then I notice from the corner of my eye DJ stomping over to me mad. Trent follows my eye contact and smiles again.

"WHAT THE HELL MAN! WHERE'S YO GIRL!" DJ takes me hand and helps me get up.

"She and I have separated for the moment." Trent winks at me and DJ tenses.

"Look man, this is mine. Go find another one." DJ leads me away and the bell rings.

"I didn't need any help." I say talking my hand away from his grip. We stop in the middle of the hallway.

"Oh really! He was just about to trap you in his lies. Courtney! Please don't get any closer to him than you are to me. He's exactly what you saw in the hallway. A jerk. Seriously, he'll get you in trouble." DJ gently touches my arm and I look down.

"Okay." I answer and he walks me to my next class.

"Alright, then uh.. I guess I'll see you after school." I nod and DJ rubs my shoulder. "Bye." He walks away and I enter my classroom. Our desk have our names on them. I look around the almost filled room and notice the bright décor and there he was, sitting starring directly at me. He winks at me and points to my desk. And I look to see where it is. Right in front of him and directly behind the Mohawk boy, both starring at me I sigh and walk over to my new seat. Isn't this going to be one hell of a class.

**A/N: First day of school sounds shitty already.. I guess.. Please Review for some more juicy chps.**

**-Neen**


	4. Rude awakening

I'm sitting and thinking. Sitting and thinking. Sitting because I can't run and get away. Thinking about how much I want to get away! I sitting between two unbelievably gorgeous guys. One who is a dick. The other who is… on the borderline I guess. The teacher is telling us about what we are going to learning here in math. Trent is quietly looking over my shoulder at my diary which is on my desk smothered in my arms. I can tell because he is slightly breathing down my neck.. Mohawk dude is just sitting back in his seat with his head hanging back. So basically, I have to fucking space to myself.

I sigh slightly and Trent hears it.

"What's the matter?", Trent asks me in a low whisper. I look at him from the corner of my eye not wanting to turn around and get trapped into his gaze.

"Oh nothing." I answer. "I just can't wait to get out of here I guess." Trent seems amused.

"Hmmm, just as anxious as I am. I can't wait to get out of this hell whole either. As a matter of fact, I'm not doing anything after school. How about you, Ms. Courtney?" Trent chuckles in his throat . I gulp, loud. Obviously Mohawk dude hears my response and turns around suddenly. The teacher turns on a movie about something completely irrelevant from the subject.

"Will you shut up!" Green Mohawk says nostrils flared. "I'm trying to sleep in peace but it's really hard to when you're tryin to bag something u ain't gon get."

Trent releases his hover from my neck and puts his elbows on the table so his fingers are together and his head are supporting it. "Aren't we jealous? You just mind your own business bud."

"My name is not bud, dick! It's Duncan and if you got a problem with me, say so and we can fix it!" I smile at the Mohawk kid. He just said his name. Finally I know his name!

The teacher notices the high testosterone crowding my space and walks over to our desks.

"Is there a problem guys? Miss?" I try to angle my head to look at the teacher but it's kinda hard when two guys are smothering you.

"No, just jealousy in the air." Trent suggest looking at the teacher. The teacher nods and looks at Duncan upset.

"You'll have your chance, maybe not with her. But surely with someone else. Not hush. Or detention for the three of you." The teacher looks at us hard and I frown. Great, I'm in trouble. The boys go back to their places and I bang my head on my desk. Why me?

**2:20 Schools out**

The bell finally rings for the release of the students. I have to find my bus but I also have to find my sister. But on my way to leave my locker, I run into a wall. DJ.

"Hey, I just wanted to walk you to your bus." He smiles at me and I nod.

"Okay." I answer. We walk outside to my bus and we talk a little. About my day and meeting his clan of friends. I tell him it will take a little getting used to but I'll fit in. We finally make it to my bus and we turn to look at each other.

"Well I hope you have a safe trip home. I'll see you tomorrow." DJ does that weird thing with our fists again and I laugh.

"I guess I'll learn someday." I wave him bye and hop onto my bus. My sister has saved me a seat. I try to sit with her but she pushes me out.

"Across." I frown and sit across from her. No telling what idiot is going to sit by me this evening.

The bus ride home is noisy and loud. I try not to let it bother me. When we finally make it back to the bus stop, me and my sister exit and travel home. The driveway is clear. Which means daddy is out as usual and mother is here.. Sleeping.

My sister unlocks the door and we go inside. I immediately walk into my room and close my door to splatter on top of my bed.

**7:30 P.M.**

I wake up hearing arguing. Of course it's my parents. I'm scared again. My mother is breaking dishes while my father is fighting back with her. I hide inside my closet because I already know what's going to happen tonight. I shudder at the slight memories that are inside my head. The memories I try so hard to forget, the memories that are locked into my diary never to be revealed. Suddenly my door cracks open and someone comes inside. They jump onto my bed and start talking.

"Hey, Courtney!" It's Charity. She sounds scared. I open my closet to reveal myself and she jumps. "OH MY GOD, You scared the SHIT out of me!" She runs over to me and holds me.

"What are you doing?" I look at her and pull her off me. She looks at me with nervous eyes and it's too dark in my room to see her clearly. She turns on the lamp next to my bed and slowly turns to see my face. I run over to her fast and examine the marks. The marks I once had. The marks that are embroidered into my skin.

"You cannot let this happen to you!" She pulls me into her lap and holds me. I can't believe she is actually caring for me. "Dad is drunk and so is mom. They are both downstairs fucked all the way up. We have to get out of here FAST! Before…" We both look at each other and I start crying. Not tonight. PLEASE Not tonight. She immediately puts me down ands grabs one of my suitcases from under my bed.

"Wh-hhat are w-wwe going t-tto do?" I ask nervously sitting on the floor.

"We are going to get the hell out of here. We have to!" She opens my closet door and grabs two pairs of clothes. One are my PJ's and the other is one for school tomorrow. I grab some of my products but she grabs my wrists. "We don't have time for that! You don't understand! He is fucked and he has already come into my room! What makes you think he isn't rushing to come into yours!" I start sobbing more but she picks me up and opens my window, breaking the lock.

"BUT WHERE ARE WE GOING TO GO!" I scream and she hold my mouth shut.

"SHUT UP!" She pulls my stuff out the window and then she goes afterwards. I turn off my light and stuff my bed with the empty suitcases. I calmly stretch out of the window into the cool air, my hair blowing into my face. Tears drying into my skin.

"COME ON! HE'S ON HIS WAY UP!" I shudder and quickly let go of my window and fall into my sisters arms. She puts me down and grabs my stuff. "We have to go NOW!" But we don't make it before my dad is screaming out my window.

"CHAIRTY YOU BITCH! COME BACK HERE!" We start to run and I look back. He's naked with a bottle of whiskey in his hand. I start crying again but my sister pushes me.

"PICK UP THE PACE!" She grabs my hand and we run like hell.

**9:30 P.M.**

I open my eyes to see darkness. My eyes are blurred and my body is squished together between two hard rocks. I shudder. I dare not move. But the person next to me rolls over and opens their eyes.

"It's okay sweetie, I am here for you." I scream loud as hell and quickly squirm trying to find my way out of the uncomfortable bed. But instead, I feel a pillow smothering my face and a body on top of mines.

**A/N: PlEASEE REViEWW PPLS! I lOVe How many hits this story is getting! But I need some more motivation. Some peoples inputs on the story. THX SO MUCH! **

**-Neen**


	5. Secret

**A/N: WARNING:: NEXT COUPLE OF CHAPTERS ARE EXTREMELY WOW! PLEASE DON'T FEEL OFFENDED OR ANYTHING. BUT IF YOU READ BE PREPARED TO MAYBE BE GROSSED OUT.. THERE WILL BE A BREAK THROUGH.**

**-NEEN**

"COURTNEY! CALM DOWN!" I hear my sister's voice as the pillow is smothering my face. The pillow is pulled away and I lift up quickly.

"CHARITY!" I scream.

"BE QUIET!" She puts her hands over my mouth and looks at me in the darkness. I feel someone getting up and then a dim light comes on. My sister's face looks a lot worse.

"It got worst." I say touching the purple bruises gently. "Where are we?" I look around the small room to see rainbow everything. Rainbow walls, closet, dresser.. I mean it's like I'm in a dream.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you sweetie. I'm Ginger." I turn around to hear the smooth voice of a girl about the same age as my sister. As a matter of fact, she seems familiar. Like one of her sneak out friends. She comes back to the bed and holds her arms out as if to give me a hug. I lean into my sister. She's pale like white pale. Kinda grundy.. Something and someone my daddy would never allow me to hang out with. Her hair is black and purple.. Kinda scene I think. But her face is so smooth, bruise less, it glows.

"Who are you?" I ask. My sister lets go of me to stand up and look at Ginger. They exchange similar glances and I watch.

"You didn't tell her?" Ginger asks with a concerned look on her face. Kinda mad actually. "Who the hell have you told then! You can't keep it a secret forever!"

_Keep it a secret forever_

X

X

X

X

X

_You can't…_

X

X

X

X

X

Suddenly I feel tension in the air and Ginger rises to walk over to Charity. She grabs her arms and looks at her in the eyes. Charity looks away.

"I can't _believe_ this! You haven't told anyone! I mean what the hell Rit?" Rit who the heck is Rit? I guess it's a nickname Cha-Ri-ty.. Oh I see. Haha. But what's the secret? I have to know or should I know? Can I handle this? After all the crap I've been through? Can I manage to hold this in as well? Will I be punished if I tell?

"I'm sorry okay! You just don't know how hard it is! My parents already don't accept who I am or know who I am! I don't need anymore pressure. I don't need anymore pain." Charity skims her bruises and Ginger looks at them hard. She finally lets go of my sister to sit at her desk.

"I know, but at least tell someone you can trust. Like your best friend-"

"But you are my best friend! You are everything to me! Without you I wouldn't be anything, I wouldn't have shit! You complete my rainbow, Ging! You do!" Charity runs over to her on her knees and grabs Gingers hand. I watch almost about to cry. I can't believe I'm not that to her. I could have been. If she would have let me but now I know she doesn't trust me.. She doesn't want me to be her everything. I feel tears gliding down my face and both Ginger and Charity look at me.

"Aw what's wrong honey?" Ginger and Charity walk over to me. One on each side. They both hold me and are curious. "I know it's a lot to take in but trust me, it's good that you know." Ginger holds my chin up with her finger and looks at me to smile. But it's not fair! I'm her sister! NOT YOU!

"NOO!" I push Ginger away and she falls off her bed. "It's not okay! I LOVE CHARITY! NOT YOU! SHE'S MY SISTER! SHE'S ALWAYS BEEN! I COMPLETE HER! WE COMPLETE EACH OTHER!" Charity turns me around and looks at me pissed.

"DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND!" Charity lets go of her hug on me to help Ginger back up. "I'm GAY!" I look up at my sister as soon as the words fly out.

X

X

X

X

X

_I'M GAY!_

Charity breaks down to her knees and starts crying so hard. She beats on the floor and starts screaming her feelings. Her secret.. The secret she had kept in for so long. The secret I never knew. The secret I thought never existed.

"I TRIED TO TELL YOU! I WANTED TO SOO BAD! BUT IF I HAD TOLD YOU DAD WOULD COME INTO YOUR ROOM AND… AND… AND FORCE YOU TO TELL HIM WHAT I SAID! AND YOU WOULD!"

I jump up to Charity and put my hands on my hip. "NO I WOULDN'T!"

"YES YOU WOULD! BECAUSE HE HAS THAT AFFECT ON YOU! HE HAD THE SAME GOD DAMN THING ON ME WHEN I WAS YOUR FUCKING AGE! BUT I GREW STRONG COURTNEY I GREW STRONG!" Charity manages to finally stand up and Ginger even starts crying. I look at them both.

"THROUGH ALL THE HITTING AND KICKING I DID TO GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM HIM, HE ALWAYS FOUND HIS WAY IN! ALWAYS! IT'S LIKE HE'S GOT SOME KIND OF SHIT IN HIM THAT DOESN'T GIVE UP! HE DOESN'T FUCK MOM UP LIKE THAT THOUGH, SHE PUSHES HIM AROUND! BUT WHEN HE SEES THAT HE CAN'T HAVE HIS WAY.. THAT'S WHEN HE COMES INTO OUR ROOMS AND TAKES ADVANTAGE OF ANY FUCKING THING HE WANTS!" Ginger runs over to Charity and they hold each other. Charity cries harder.

"I'm so sorry Ging. I'm not perfect but dammit I try!" Ginger holds her tight and suddenly I feel an urge to hug them to. I want to be there for her too.

"I know sweetie, it's okay baby. You're here now. You're safe. You know I will always have your back." Ginger pets her hands through Charity's hair and I run over to them both to hug them. I feel a tense muscle in Ginger's body. I feel her looking at me, her smile. She feels accepted. She takes her hand and rubs my back. "I'm for you too Courtney, I promise."

"You see Courtney, we love each other. I need her just as much as I need you. But we are together. Not as a sister, but more.. As a couple." I look up to the both of them. They actually look compatible. Happy. I wish I could have that kind of love. I look down but my sister comes to my level and looks at me. "You will have someone too. Don't worry. Someone is out there for you. Maybe not now, but trust me, they are just praying the hell out of god for you." Charity kisses my forehead and shakes my hair around. "I love you sis." I feel butterflies in my stomach and I immediately jump into my sister arms and start to cry again. I hadn't heard that since I was little, so little. It almost brings back some memories of what life was sorta like.. Well mines anyway.

The rest of the night goes by slowly and I sleep ready for my next day.

**11:20 AM ALMOST LUNCH**

I close my diary after writing several pages. I'm in English and DJ is completely wiped out. I would sleep in class but I wasn't raised to do so. It's only the second day and everyone is almost asleep. He's talking about portfolio's, something I started to hate two years ago when I actually had to start writing them. The bell is about to ring shortly and Ginger bought me a lunch able to eat. She's on my good side now. I'm actually starting to like her a lot more. We stayed up some of the night just talking but I finally fell asleep around 10:45. The bell sounds and I jump to my feet. DJ wakes up fast and stretches.

"Good morning beautiful." DJ winks at me and I notice Duncan roll his eyes and make is way to the exit fast. I look down. "Don't worry about him, he's just trippin. C'mon lets go eat." We walk to the cafeteria and sit where we sat at yesterday. Duncan isn't here today. DJ notices something about my saggy eyes and turns harder to look at them.

"Wow Courtney, did you get any sleep last night?" I giggle some and look at him, distracted from eating my pizza lunch able.

"Actually, no. I uh.. Had a lot to do after I got home last night." I tell the truth making sure not much got out.

"I know how that feels." Geoff says stretching out to put his arms around Katie. "Don't we babe?" I laugh to myself and they rub noses.

"Gross! Can't you two just wait a couple more years to be fucking!" I hear Heather's voice coming in close and to follow her, Trent. They both laugh and Geoff rolls his eyes. "Whatever, what's u-" Before bitch 1 and bitch 2 can even sit down, Heather looks at me and laughs.

"So we are wearing a purple and pink dress with ruffles and wavy hair today? Nice.. Just nice. Is it that hard to dress like a normal!" She burst out laughing and I run. Run like hell. I run like there's no tomorrow. Out side the school to the parking lot to the playground just down the street. I hear DJ's voice calling me back but I don't care, I just need to be alone.

"I HATE THIS DRESS!" I scream. I start ripping it to shreds and dragging it on the ground as I enter the empty park.

"I HATE THIS COLOR!" I pull the clips out of my hair and kick mulch.

"I HATE WHO MADE ME! I HATE THIS EARTH! I HATE MYSELF! I HATE EVERYTHING!" I finally break down under this Jungle Jim and lay on the ground. My tears are going down like a waterfall and I'm groaning like a child. I hear someone's movement and I crawl back onto a pole and hold it.

**A/N: HOPE YOU ALL LOVED IT! REVIEW REVIEW!**


	6. Third Home Secret

**A/N: Just to clarify. When it read that Courtney was ripping her dress to shreds, I didn't mean she was ripping it off and into shreds. She still had the dress on but she was just tearing it up. Hope that makes since. Lol. Enjoy this chp and review :D. And This chp. is pretty intense so i warned you last time...**

"And I thought I was the only one." Then someone talks.

"WHO'S THERE!" I shout. I'm shaking like a stripper in church. I can't feel anything but hurt.. Pain. Then I remember, I forgot my diary. FUCK! I hope DJ keeps it safe. And doesn't read it.

"Chill out.. Prin_cess_ it's just me." The guy falls to his feet and it's the Mohawk kid, Duncan. He's wearing all black today and actually looks somewhat attractive. I guess Trent really did get to him.

"Go away!" I dare him and he laughs at my growl.

"Look, I was just here chillin until I hear someone's voice shouting about they hate everything. And just to tell you.. That growl you did wasn't scaring me but it was funny as hell." Duncan laughs again and starts to make his way under the jungle Jim with me. I move farther away.

"What do you want! First you wouldn't talk to me! Then you laugh at me! Then you try to come under here with me! WHAT DO YOU WANT!" I throw some mulch at him but he looks down and stops his crawling. And to my surprise he is laughing again! At this point I'm pissed. I make my way from under the jim and start walking off like a bride from her wedding. Except my dress is messed up.

"NO! Princess wait!" I hear Duncan's voice and he's running after me. "I'm sorry!"

_I'm Sorry_

X

X

X

X

X

I stop and look back at him. "I'm sorry. Okay? I was just kiddin." I turn around to see his face and I smile.

"It's okay, I'm just really upset." I answer. He leads me back under the jungle jim and we talk.

"So why are you out here and not at school?" I ask him trying to fix my dress so it's more appropriate.

"I could ask you the same thing." Duncan is sitting across from me playing in the mulch and leaning back. In other words, he's more than comfortable.

"Well your friend Heather hurt my feelings so I left." I say. Duncan smirks but then grows kinda angry.

"First, she's not my friend.. NOT my friend. I hate her just as much as you do. Second, I can't believe I missed it." I frown at him but he laughs. "Just calm down. I'm just laughing because she's a bitch, that's all.. Well.. And you let her get to you.."

I easily get more mad. "Get to me! What! She's just the devil period! It has nothing to do with that!" I say.

"Whatever. I'm just tired of school right now." Duncan says. "As a matter of fact, I don't plan on going back for another week or two." I look at him crazy.

"But you have to go!" I look at him with worried eyes but he just lifts a brow..

"Uh, no I don't, just because I'm registered to go doesn't mean I have to. Same thing for you too." I look at him and frown. That's just an excuse.

"If you were trying to get away from me, why didn't you just tell me the first day!" I yell at him. He shakes his head and looks at me.

"It wasn't even like that-"

"Now you're trying to act like you have some type of personality! You got the nerve!" I fold my arms over and he laughs again.

"Actually I do have a personality. I'm just lazy and I get annoyed very easily. Just don't hit the wrong nerve and everything will be all good." Duncan lays back in the mulch and closes his eyes.

"What do you mean? You're only 11. How do you have a temper?" I ask nervously, trying not to hit a nerve.

"Correction, I'm 12 and I'm maturing quite fast actually." I laugh at him. He thinks he knows everything. But he's just an idiot like every other boy. "And since I'm maturing so fast, I think that you should listen to me when I tell you right from wrong." I stop laughing and he sits up to look at me. I frown.

"Just because you're ONE year older than me doesn't mean that you can boss me around. Nobody bosses me around!" I say stern.

"Oh really? And you're telling me that Heather didn't?" Duncan comes closer to me and winks. I push him back and smack him.

"You're an idiot just like every other boy! You're just like Trent, just like him!" Duncan grabs my hand I smacked him with and pushes me back. I hit my head against a pole lightly and he gets up.

"You're kidding me! I am NOTHING like him! He wishes he was more like me! Want's to be more like me! But he's not! You just wish he was more like me! Don't you! But fuck it! You just fucked this up. So fuck you and him!" Duncan gets up and doesn't even apologize for his rough behavior. He walks away and tosses his skateboard to the ground and glides away. So much for trying to be a friend.

I sit under the jungle jim for a while humble but hurt. I don't even know what time it is but I do know how much trouble I'm going to be in when I get home. Hopefully the school won't call and snitch on me. Hopefully, my sister won't. Oh I know she won't, she's practically my sister now, my best friend and she loves me. She wouldn't snitch on me.

**One hour later**

I'm in my room crying my eyes out. She snitched, she actually snitched! The police found me asleep in the park and drove me home. Daddy is so fucking mad. I already know what's going to happen tonight. My sister is downstairs getting the business from my mom about sneaking out again and with me. He also saw the condition of my dress oh my god he's going to beat me raw. I cry harder and hold on tight to my pillow. He's already stripped me naked in my room and left to converse with the police. They think I've been raped but they don't know the kinda rape I'm about to endure. They DON'T KNOW THE TYPE OF ABUSE I'M ABOUT TO GET! THEY DON'T FUCKING KNOW!

Suddenly, I hear the front door slam and daddy cursing out of his mind. I hear his footsteps creeping, horrible footsteps. Then the knob turns. I hold my blanket between my legs and start breathing heavily, praying. The door opens and there he is. In his robe. Nothing but his robe. I scream.

"DADDY I SWEAR IT WASN'T ON PURPOSE! I SWEAR!" I shout and he runs over to me and slaps the hell out of my face.

"WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT THAT FUCKING LANGUAGE IN THE GOD DAMN HOUSE! GET YOUR ASS UP!" He has the belt. The leather belt with my name engraved in it. I try to obey his orders but he doesn't hesitate to smack that whip against my stomach it hurts. It cramps. I scream. It's wet. He put water on it so it would hurt more. He hits me 5 times and doesn't care where. Twice in the face, once on the stomach and two on the back. I hurts so bad I can feel the weapon scarring my back, reopening wounds that had been deeply buried into my flesh. I cry out in agony and he grabs my wrist, drags me out of my bed and continues down the stairs. He drags me and hits me across the floor of the house. My mother and sister are forced to watch. I scream, they scream. They watch, don't take any other actions but watch. He has them tied to chairs in the kitchen, and finally when he's done with me, he walks to my sister and punches her in the jaw. I scream and he tells me to shut up!

"SHUT UP! BEFORE I REALLY GIVE YOU WHAT YOU WANT!" He opens his robe and grabs my ankles. I try to crawl away but he's too strong. Like he's taken a steroid that wants me and only me! And nothing will stop him.

"STOP YOU'RE HURTING HER!" My sister cries but daddy doesn't care. He could care less. He flips me over, back hitting the floor hard and jabs his 7" into my opening. I scream so loud that I'm sure the neighbors can hear me. He keeps going harder and harder thrusts into my system. It hurts so bad, its bleeding. My mother and sister watch the blood make its exit from my between my legs. I cry and scream, try to pull away but his force is too strong.

Finally when he finishes he forces my mother to open her mouth to give him a blow job. She does and I hold my legs to my chest trying not to watch.

"That's right Courtney, in and out, swallow the medicine I give you baby! Swallow." He says gently and rolls her head back. He finally braces himself for the finishing touch but takes it and cums all over my sisters face.

"YOU SICK BASTARD!" My sister is jumping trying to get out of her chair just so she can beat the hell out of him. But she's tied too tightly. I try to slide away but he turns to look at me.

"You! Get in the tub upstairs and fill it to the top! You get in it and stay in it until I come up there!" I run immediately to the bath room and do what he says. He makes other orders to my mother and sister, clean the floor and so on.

As I make my way into the bathroom, I remember memories that had been deep inside me. Memories of my head being bashed into the mirror, memories of him bunking my head into the toilet, memories of him making me taste my own urine. Memories I have tried so hard to forget, but every time I get the beating, they always come back. I turn on the bath water. He hates bubbles, this wasn't going to be a bubble bath. No. This was something that he calls being clean. When the tub is completely filled, I step inside of it. It's boiling hot and the deeper I force myself into it, the more it burns. I feel the water rubbing against my flesh. This is no sensation. After about 10 minutes alone, he finally comes inside and gives me a brush with some soap.

"You scrub hard and good. I'm going to watch you. So you better do it right." His face is hard my body is soft. I'm scared. I take the soap and harshly push it against the brush. This brush is hard, very hard. It scratches my skin sometimes. As I start scrubbing I start crying, his eyes are fixed so hard on me that I don't even see him blink. I scrub slow and hard and when I finish I sit back into the tub and soak. The water is red and he lifts he out and gives me the black towel. The towel that still suffers with the blood stains my sister had bleed. And now they are smothered in mine. When I dry off, he pushes me out of the bathroom and points to the door. I shake and start to sob again.

"Please daddy, can I pleaaasseee stay in? Pleassssee!" He lifts me off the ground and flares his nostrils.

"Get outside before I put you there myself." I cry harder and run out the door into the front yard. The wind is breezy and my hair is wet. I climb the fence that my sister knows to well and make it to the back yard. There I sit on the porch bare naked and sleep the rest of the night off.

**A/N: Too much to take? Yeah it was hard to type but this is probably the most intense chapter out of the rest of them. More DXC Scenes are to come so don't stress. There will be a break through. Pleaseee Review.**


	7. 5 days

**A/N: Thank you everyone for your beautiful reviews. They mean a lot. And Heartandstar101 thanks for the idea. I had the same one in mind. Thanks so much you all. Give me hope. :D**

**5 days later**

I haven't been to school in 5 days. The weekend was harsh but not as bad as Tuesday. He still wont allow me to come inside. Mother feeds me every other hour with oatmeal and soup. My wounds have been healing somewhat okay. She puts Neosporin on them. I haven't been cold, its actually been pretty warm for the past few days. It might rain tonight though. The sky has been looking pretty scary. It's 5:00 in the afternoon and I still don't have my diary. I know DJ is keeping it safe. Tomorrow it will be Wednesday and daddy told me I will be going to school. My face has healed better, two scars are left. One on my jaw line and the other right below my hairline. I have my hair cover them both. It's grown past my shoulders so some marks are hidden. My eyes look awful I know. They're probably purple underneath. I Haven't slept good. The concrete hurts my back and the grass is too itchy. The mosquitoes haven't been biting much, but who would bite such a hideous person. I hear screen crack on the door and I look up to see him.

"Alright Courtney, you have paid your dues. Time to come back inside and change." I get off the ground and walk inside. My sister is looking at me and shaking her head. Mother is on the couch asleep. I go into the bathroom to take a look at myself and instantly break down.

"Nobody is ever going to want me. Nobody. My face is scared to the bone, my skin is the color of the rainbow, my eyes are as saggy as a wet blanket. I'm so ugly." I cry my eyes out again and daddy knocks on the bathroom.

"Courtney, wash up. Dinner will be ready shortly and you need to be healthy and clean for school tomorrow." He walks away and I obey. I look into the mirror for the last time and clean.

**10:30 PM**

Daddy tucked me in and kissed me goodnight. Everything feels so wrong. My life is ruined. I'm ruined. I'm not pretty anymore. I'll need every make up product in the world to cover these marks. I cuddle against my soft mattress I missed so much and fall into a deep slumber.

**Beginning of 3****rd**** period**

I sit at my desk and pull out my notebook. Beth is curious and so is DJ. My hair is very wavy today, actually it looks very pretty. It smells fresh and so do I. This morning daddy made me wear a polka dotted white and black fluffy dress to school. This was actually my favorite one. My legs are covered with white stockings and my shoes are white as well. He told me to be a lady today and be extra careful with this dress. He also told me that if I ruined another dress, he would burn them all and make me wear rags (again that's anything casual). DJ taps my shoulder and I turn around to see him.

"Can you please stop dodging the question! Where have to been!" DJ looks at me worried and I stuff a piece of gum into my mouth. It kind of hurts to chew but I play it off.

"My family went on a small vacation to grandma's. She lives all the way up in Alaska and we got snowed in." I turn around pleased that daddy's lie went swiftly into DJ's head. The bell rings and Duncan comes in late and looks straight past me. I can't believe he just ignored me.

Mr. Mass begins our class day with our exercise and ignores the fact of me cutting and having not been here for the past few days. I do my English objective for the day but then I feel something brush against my leg. I look under my desk to find a folded piece of paper. I look around the classroom but nobody looks suspicious. I take the paper and unwrap it.

_Princess_

I smile a little and hold my head down making sure my blush doesn't show. My cheeks are glowing red. I open it to read this small letter with sloppy handwriting.

_You sure the hell have been out. I told yah a few days gone would clear your mind._

Only if he knew some of the crap I had going on.

_I didn't mean what I said at the park the other day. I was just a little mad. Look I uh.. I think you look really beautiful today and I was just wondering if you wanted to go to the park again with me._

I stop to catch my breath and almost start crying. I can't believe he just called me beautiful! HE CALLED ME BEAUTIFUL. But only if he knew that this beauty was a lie. IT'S ALL A LIE!

I ball the paper up and throw it in my backpack. I hold my face away and Mr. Mass notices.

"Miss Courtney? Do you need to see the principal?" He looks like he's concerned. I look up to him and then look at Duncan, he looks kinda sad. But yet.. Concentrated.

"No uh.. Mr. Mass, I'm just uh uh… still kinda torn up from leaving my grandma. That's all. I'm sorry, I'll pay attention." Mr. Mass smiles at me and continues with his lecture. DJ kicks my leg lightly but even the lightest touch burns my skin. He approaches my shoulder and my ear.

"What the hell is wrong with you? We are going to talk at your locker when we are going to lunch." I listen to his words but they are all jumbled.

"Actually, I have other plans. But do you still have my diary?" I turn to look at DJ's face and he looks at mine. He covers his mouth and looks sad. Almost shocked. Like he forgot about it. "Do you?"

"Courtney please don't be mad at me." He whispers and then looks away from me. Him and Duncan look at each other and I flare my nostrils

"YOU READ IT DIDN'T YOU!" I scream whisper to DJ he tries to explain but Mr. Mass comes to my seat again.

"Miss Courtney please hush so the rest of the class can pay attention." I stop talking and instantly start to cry. My life is ruined. If my diary is in the hands of someone else, they will read it and expose all my secrets. All my awful secrets.

The bell sounds and I immediately run out of the class room. I don't even go to my locker. I just leave. I leave the school building and run to the park once again. Duncan is right behind me on his skateboard.

"Princess! Wait!" He shouts but I don't slow down I run right into the jungle jim and sit under it. There I cry my eyes out.

I hear Duncan running after me while he tosses his skateboard and he climbs under. He watches as I cry but comes closer to me. He puts his arm around me and I bury my face into his chest. His chest. Its so warm. It's so good. It smells so good. I grab on his skulled shirt and I hear his heartbeat speed up.

"Princess, cry. Cry as much as you want. Nobody is here to judge you." Duncan whispers and slowly puts is other arm around me to hold me close. "Oh Princess, I know. I feel you." I start to calm my crying and lay my head against his wet chest.

"Why did you give me that note?" I ask out of nowhere. Duncan's weight shifts and he sighs heavily. He takes a minute to answer, I wait patiently.

"Why did you ball it up?" He answers. I look up to him and he's looking away.

"I had to, it was a lie." I say back. He looks down to me and pushes me away from his chest.

"No it wasn't. I know how you feel." From under him he tosses my diary to me. "I didn't read it. I just opened it. You write a lot. And scribble out a lot. But you always tell the truth." Duncan looks at me finally and I stroke my diary.

"How do you know that?" I ask kinda offended. "These aren't truths in here! They're secrets! Lies! Things I don't want to believe but do! Because they happen!"

Duncan rolls his eyes. "If you don't want to believe them so much, then why do you write it down?" His voice is shaggy and annoyed. He wants me to admit something.

"Because! I want to publish this someday. So I can remind every little girl why-" I stop talking. I'm about to open myself. Too wide too hard. I can't. Duncan looks at me to carry on but I just say never mind.

"No, we need to talk about it." We? What does he mean by this we? I look at him and he looks at me. "I'm adopted." I open my eyes wide to stare at him. Adopted?

"So? I'm not." He chuckles and looks at me.

"I know that. But you have to tell me a secret of yours." I look at him wide eyed again.

"Absolutely not! This isn't a game little boy. This is real-"

"And so am I." Duncan takes my hand and kisses it. "Trust me, Princess. Trust me."

**A/N: I hope you all are LoViNg IT! REVIEW PLEAZZ.!**


	8. I can't trust you

**A/N: You alls reviews really touch my heart. Like this story is hard enough to write but your reviews really help me make great chapters. :D I would list everyone's SN of who's reviews mean a lot but there's just too many. ILYA kk. Here goes another chp. Review pwezzz ****J**

I look up at Duncan surprised. He just kissed my hand and told me to trust him. I start to blush and he smirks shyly.

"So uh, I think we should be heading back to school now." We look away from each other awkwardly and he pulls away from me.

"I guess you're right." Duncan gets up and holds his arm out to help me. I grab it and he pulls me up gently. We duck under the jungle jim and exit. Duncan hops on his skateboard and looks at me.

I look down and start walking back to the school. As soon as he's behind me, I hear a thud and running. I look behind me only to find he's right beside me walking. I smile and look away.

"So uh, you wana do this again sometime?" I look at Duncan and nod my head. He smirks and shakes his head.

"Yeah this could be a hobby of mine." Duncan laughs and put his hands in his pocket while holding on to his skateboard. We continue to walk to school in silence.

**End of day**

I approach my school bus when I feel a tap on my shoulder and I turn around to see DJ. He doesn't seem too happy. I hold my diary close and look up to him.

"Yes." I say.

"Where have you been! I waited for you forever, you never showed! I've worried about you." DJ pulls me into a hug and I smile. It feels good to feel somewhat cared for. I mean sincerely cared for. He pulls away and I smile to him.

"Thank you for caring so much. But I just had some things on my mind. But I'm okay now. So everything is good. But I must hurry to my bus." The engines start to roar and the wind blows in my hair. All of my hair goes to one side of my face and DJ frowns when he notices something.

"Hey what's that near your chin?" His fingers touch the scar and I jump away. I start to get worried and sweat.

"It's nothing. I uh, fell when I went over to grandma's that all. Not anything serious, really! Look I really have to go." I clutch onto my diary and pull my hair back into my face. I walk off in the direction of my bus.

"Iight, well I see you tomorrow." DJ shouts back to me. I can't believe he just saw one of my scars.

**Home**

I walk into the house, Charity on my heels, and turn to the steps to enter my room. However, the atmosphere feels different. I stop at the bottom of the steps and look around. Daddy's car wasn't in the drive way so he shouldn't be here. Mother, however… I turn the corner to walk into the kitchen and it looks a mess. I knew it was my job to keep the house clean but god did mother have to do this just to torture me? She comes out of the living room with her disgusting lingerie on. I look away.

"It's about time you got here. Clean this shit up." She throws a wet rag at my face and let it drop to the floor. I stand there for a minute while she grabs a beer out of the fridge and takes a long swig. "And you better do it right too. And chop me some strawberries too." She exit's the kitchen and I run to my room and slam the door. But when I walking over to my closet I feel a motion in my room. I turn on the lights immediately and I see Charity is on my bed sitting and thinking.

"You have no right to be in my room." I say pulling out my cleaning clothes. My rags, daddy hates them and mother makes me clean in them. Long black cargo pants, a white t-shirt, my red bandana and tennis shoes. Charity looks frustrated as I fix my hair in my mirror.

"I know that but I don't give a fuck. You need to limit your presence around these boys." I look at her in disgust. What the hell does she know about my guy friends!

"For one, they're just friends! Two, you have no reason to talk. And THREE-"

"IF DAD FIND OUT HE'S SURE TO GIVE YOU ONE HELL OF A TEENAGE LIFE." Charity shouts in my face. She grabs my little arms from my hair and places me on my bed. "Did you not learn one fuckin thing the other night! HUH! I'm not bullshittin you sis, I'm telling you the damn truth." Her eyes are telling me she is but I don't care. He's done a lot of other crap. So I guess I'm prepared. I shrug my shoulders. But she really has the nerve to be in my room telling me to watch out when she's the reason why I got jumped and beat up on last week!

"Yeah I learned something." I get off my bed and walk over to my door, opening it. "That you're a no good untrustworthy bitch who happens to be my sister." I slam the door on my way out and walk down the stairs to get my cleaning supplies.

Its about 6 o'clock when I finish the entire kitchen and it's spotless. I chopped moms strawberries and put plenty of sugar on them. She's satisfied. I run into the bathroom and throw off those dirty disgusting clothes and turn on the shower. It's so warm and the droplets melt against my skin. My scars are sizzling under the heat waves and I feel free. I wash my thick long brown hair as well and dry off as soon as I'm done. When I reach my room, I change into my fuzzy pink PJ's and I go to my desk to start my homework.

Math and English is tonights homework. We are doing factoring and I'm finding it quite easy. But who knew English could be broken down into so many words! Verbs, adverbs, nouns, adjectives, and other things I've never even heard of. We are identifying what each part of speech in the sentences. Very boring. When I finish, I put my books away and open my diary.

_Dear Diary,_

_Even though today was kinda of crazy, I had a great time with Duncan. I think we are starting to become more close as friends and it means a lot. I thought he hated me at first but he doesn't. J Also DJ has showed me a lot of care lately, it also means a lot. But back to Duncan. He smelled sooooo good. Like it was amazing. I mean he's certainly not_

I stop writing to hear a door slam. It must be daddy coming home from his day of work. Someone doesn't seem happy. I get up from my desk and walk over to the door. I peek out of the crack of it to see daddy pacing back and fourth. I finally open my room door to sit on the top of the steps.

"Daddy what's the matter?" He looks up to see my concerned face. His hand is on his chin and he's thinking. Then out of no where he smiles. Not this grim smile but a happy smile. He runs to the top of the steps and picks me up to swing me around.

"I GOT A PROMOTION!" My eyes immediately light up! Daddy got his first promotion. That's great. Only if I really knew what it was. Charity is now at the top of the steps with a frown on her face.

"What the fuck is goin on?" Daddy plants my feet on the tile floor and looks up to charity.

"I got a promotion." He smiles to her and walks away to grab my wrists. "We are going to celebrate. Lets go, get dressed into something beautiful." He nods his head and I see mother coming from around the corner. She jumps on my father and moves her head in some odd way and he smiles even harder. "Well Courtney and Chasity take a minute, because I'm going to be." I make a face and point a finger to my throat. Charity is beside me now and shaking her head.

"This asshole still can't remember my fucking name. I'm out of here." She walks to the front door as my parents are walking to their bedroom. I run to her and pull on her pants.

"Why are you leaving a free meal behind! Something is seriously wrong with you Char." We stop to look at each other. I just called her her nickname that her girlfriend gave to her. She smiles a little and looks down.

"You were right about earlier. I'm sorry for it, but you were wrong that time. Plus I was very worried. I tried to take matters into my own hand but daddy made me talk." She lifts up her t-shirt and I see 3 looonnggg whip lines across her stomach. Not just short little scar lines, NO these are arm length and buried so deep into her flesh it even hurts me. "So much for getting a tattoo. This motherfucker is in my skin for life." So she did try to take up for me. But got tortured. I smile and hug her legs tight.

"Sorry, I thought you just blurted me out." She pulls me away and looks down to me. "No, not after that awesome time we had with Ging." We nod our heads and she looks at the door.

"I guess I'll go out to dinner with you all. I was going over there but I guess having dinner with the fam is more important." I laugh at her and shake my head.

"Or having dinner with me!" We run to our rooms and I open my closet to find another dress I love. I pull out this fluffy white dress I wore to church. I hold it against me and decide it's perfect.

**A/N: yesh moree is to come. So much under these sleeves ;) K review PWEZZ!**

-NEENZ


	9. Exposed

I'm feeling very uncomfortable at this booth and like his eyes are pierced through my body. I can't look into his because once I peek, I can't look away. It hurts when he looks at me like this. Like I'm more than just his daughter. More than just his little girl. More than just his angel. His bitch. I feel like I'm under his shackles and he's the only one who can set me free. I hate this feeling and I can't eat now. He even ordered for me. A salad. Something light. But my mother dares him to take her order. I swear he's such a punk when it comes to her. Why can't I have her strength? Or Charity's? Why can't I just breakthrough and have my say? Oh I know why.. Because I'm eleven.

"Courtney dear, you haven't touch your food." Daddy says concerned. He's had his eye on me ever since we left the house. Ever since I put on this dress. I should burn this dress with all the others. I want no memories what so ever! Charity's noticed daddy's hard looks and keeps bumping me under the table.

"Well um, I'm not that hungry. I had a big lunch." I lie through my teeth. Daddy suddenly grows angry and throws his napkin into his food and slams his hands on the table. We all look at him and he's extremely pissed.

"BULLSHIT! YOU OPEN YOUR MOUTH AND EAT THAT SHIT BEFORE I COME OVER THERE AND SHOVE IT DOWN YOUR FUCKING THROAT!" I Immediately pick up my fork and start stabbing my lettuce and shoving it into my mouth. Everyone else around us watch as I eat like a pig and whisper amongst themselves.

"Good girl." Daddy smiles his grim smile and I look down and shed a tear. I know what that means and so does Charity.

"Dad, we're going to go to the restroom." Charity say pushing me out of the booth and grabbing my wrists. I follow as she pulls me along her side and we past the restrooms to meet the door.

"What are you doing?" I look up to her and my tears have gotten worse. They're pouring now and she looks down to me.

"I'm gonna get you tonight and we're going over to Ging's again. Dad's really got something up his sleeve and I'm not in the mood to hear his bullshit tonight." I nod my head and wipes my wet eyes.

"Why-y-y can't I b-e-e mo-r-e like-e y-o-u-u?" I cry harder and Charity comes to my level and hugs me.

"It'll be alright sis. I promise I'll always have your back." I smile and hold my sister close to me.

_I'll always have your back_

X

X

X

X

X

When we are done having our moment, we walk back to the booth and I begin for finish my salad.

"So Courtney, how's school been?" I hear daddy say scraping the leftovers on his plate. I chew what's in my mouth and swallow hard.

"Um, it's been very nice. Everyone is nice to me and I have made a few friends." I smile unhappily and daddy nods his head.

"Enough with the fluffy shit, what about the boys!" My mother spits out of her disgusting lips. Daddy again grows angry and slams his fists on the table. Everyone in the restaurant stop to stare and he looks at my mother pissed.

"You bitch! Don't you ever let anything so dumb come out of your lips again!" I shake in my seat and Charity just resumes eating like nothing is happening. My mother gives him a challenging look and picks up her knife to stab into the table.

"Who the hell are you callin a bitch? You know she's growin up! She's goin to need someone else's dick to ride besides just yours every fuckin day!" I open my mouth in big surprise and immediately break down crying! Charity stops eating in mid-chew and drops her fork onto the floor. I cannot believe she just said that. Out of no where daddy smacks the fuck out my mother and grabs her by her wrists.

"Get up girls. We're leaving." As he drags my mother out of the door screaming, I'm still crying. Charity holds my hands and some guys runs over to daddy complaining about the check. Daddy grows very pissed off and smacks the shit out of the waiter and suddenly so much crap is going on my eyes can't move fast enough to see. All I remember is my sister in the front seat driving and me in the back laying down.

**6:45 A.M.**

I wake up sleepily with my eyes blurry and the ceiling spinning. I crash back onto the bed and jump when I feel something hard hit it. I scream loudly and the person next to me as well is awaken and screams in unison.

"OH MY GOD COURTNEY CHILL! ITS JUST CHARITY!" I turn on the lamp next to my bed and she her swollen face. She's been crying all night too.

"Sorry, I didn't know you slept with me. But I thought we were going over to Gings?" Charity stretches and nods her head.

"Yeah we were but daddy got arrested last night so I didn't see a need. So yeah it's about that time to start getting ready." I look at my hello kitty clock and nod in return. I get up and stretch and go to my closet to find something to wear. Hmmm, I decide to wear a black mini skirt with a white blouse. I pull out white stockings from my drawer and go to the restroom to wash up. When I'm done I come back into my room to do my hair and get dressed.

"So what happened to daddy?" Charity rolls over on my bed and look at me in the mirror.

"He got arrested for assault on the waiter. Then not paying for the dinner bill. Damn he was so mad but I'm glad they got his ass. I hope they lock his ass up forever." I nod my head in agreement. I decide to do my hair in curls today but I hate anything hot so Charity does it and styles it just the way I like. When she's finished I put my books in my backpack and kiss my diary and put that in as well. But then I remember something.

"Um Charity, I had an issue yesterday at school." I point to the scar by my jaw line and she notices it. She quickly runs to her room to grab something and runs back to mine. She takes a dab of it and runs in against my skin. When I look back into the mirror, it looks like nothing is there.

"Make up isn't just for looking good." I smile to her and grab my backpack ready to leave.

When I make it to school, I see DJ and Duncan sitting under a tree beside the school. I walk over to them and smile.

"Hey DJ and Duncan." Duncan looks at me and nods his head. He isn't paying much attention because he's listening to his music. DJ however, pulls me into a light hug and smiles.

"You look nice today." I watch his eyes as they look over my facial features til they stop in one certain area. "Hey, your scar went away. Wow you should tell me what type of cream you use." DJ laughs and Duncan suddenly looks up. He looks at my face too but studying it extra hard.

"How's you do that?" I look down to him and look away. I don't think I can get away lying to Duncan. I know I've only known his for a few days but he looks like the type who would deny anything someone says. Even the truth! After thinking for a second, he lifts a brow and I answer.

"I fell when I went over to my grandma's." I say. Duncan looks shocked and smirks.

"That must have been one nasty incident." I look down to him and frown.

"It was." He suddenly stops laughing to give me a serious expression and I squint my eyes at him as well.

DJ notices the hostility between us and suddenly I hear a loud voice shouting. No two loud mouths. I look away from Duncan to see a thick black girl with long braids and no other than Heather. They're arguing and Trent is between them rolling his eyes. That weird girl Gwen is beside the black girl and she's looking at her phone. They all come up to us and stop.

"WELL BITCH MAYBE IF YOU HAD A LIFE YOU WOULDN'T BE TRIPPIN OFF MINES!" The black girl puts her hand up in Heather face and her face is totally red. Trent is holding her arms back talking to her passionately and Gwen is hissing under her throat.

"Um hi." I wave to all them and the black girl looks at me.

"And you are..?" She looks at me like I'm crazy and I hold my hand out to shake.

"Oh yeah, I'm Courtney." The black girls looks at Gwen and they laugh out loud.

DJ slides between me and the black girl and puts his arm around her. "Courtney, this is my girl forever, LeShawna." He flutters his eyes to her and everyone rolls their eyes.

"Whats good girl?" She nods her head to me and I try to figure out what she just said.

"Pardon me?" I say. I hear a bell ring and I look at the time on Gwen's phone. OMG it's 7:35! "Nevermind, I'd love to chat but I'm going to be late." I quickly make my way to the doors of the school and to my locker to enter my first period class.

**11:00 A.M. Almost Lunch**

We just finished going over our homework and now I'm sitting here doodling on another worksheet. DJ is behind me asleep and Duncan is look at me from the corner of my eye. I feel something tap my foot and I look under my desk to find a special folded piece of paper. I smile and pick it up.

_Courtney_

I open the note and read it.

_I have noticed you absence at lunch and just wondering why you haven't been there?_

I notice this handwriting is different. Not as sloppy. I write back.

_Well um.. I've been having a lot on my mind so I've been going to the park._

When I fold the note back I look under my name to see from Trent in small letters. I frown and slide it back under to his desk. When he's finished he slides it back to my foot and I jump and grab it.

_Oh really? Well I think you should eat with our clan today. I mean we want to know more about you._

I frown and look to Duncan. He's watching me. Or he's been watching me. He knew that Trent was going to try this. And he's letting him! What the heck! I thought we were on the same level.

_Okay, ill be there._

I slide the note back and ponder in my seat and wait for the bell to ring.

When it finally does DJ jumps up out of his seat and I see his girlfriend waiting for him at the door. He walks past me and runs to her carrying her books and everything while she talks to the green girl. I pack up my things as fast as I can trying to catch up but I feel a hand on my arm. I look up to see light green eyes and a smile.

"Hey, lets walk together." I notice Duncan watching us and when I look at him he suddenly pushes everyone out of his way. I look down. "C'mon we have to move quick if we want good seats." We walk through the heavy crowded hallways and finally make it to the cafeteria. I see Duncan isn't sitting anywhere and the table is getting crowded pretty fast. Katie sits beside Geoff and tickles him while LeShawna is complaining about her hair. I sit next to her and looks at like I'm crazy for the second time.

"Um, hey." I smile to her and she nods her head.

"What's up?" I continue smiling while she starts eating her lunch.

"Nothing much. Just a little tired." She nods her head again and I see Gwen looking at me crazy now.

"Yeah you look like you've been up all night." She says. I nod to her too.

"Last night was kinda crazy but at least I made it." Gwen turns suspicious and I look away to ignore the subject I see Heather coming to our table and Trent is leaned up against the wall.

"Sup babe." They peck each other on the cheek and I watch confused. Why is he messing with me if he has her? Suddenly LeShawna notices her space has been cluttered when she turns around to see Heather. She rolls her eyes and shakes her hair.

"ANYWAYS!" Everyone at the table laughs and I feel a reason to giggle.

"The hell you laughing for!" I look to her talking to me and I stop laughing. LeShawna notices my punking out and stands up to get in Heather's face.

"Look whore, she's new to the clan. She can laugh as much as she won't and if you got a problem with it… I don't care!" Heather face is red again and I smile. LeShawna does like me. She just took up for me.

Heather stomps off and Trent goes after her. LeShawna looks down to me. "If you ever have a problem with anyone you come tell me." I nod to her and thank her as much as possible. "She's a bitch and just mad because nobody like her. She only hang with us because she knows nobody else won't her." I nod again. I look over to the seat where Duncan usually sat but he's not here. I slump into my seat and remain silent for the rest of the day.

**A/N: God im loving this story. Probably the best well written one. Lmao. And Taylorklass2010 yes you had my crackin up with your review. And yes I will finish this one. I just hope not to get WB when school starts back. UGH! Which reminds me we only got a few more weeks. D: Im soo glad this is my last year!** **NEWAYZZ PLEASE REVIEWW :DD**

-NEEN


	10. The walk home

**A/N: I think I will do a few shout outs. Just because a lot of these reviewers are sincere and funny. But this chp is defiantly goin out to ****CourtneyXDuncanforever****. Gave me some ideas. ****Mttrackmaster38**** also a great reviewer xD your's make me laugh. ****Arianna**** very sincere heart. Okay but ill name some more people next chapter cuz all of you all make me keep writing in some way. But please review! You don't know if u may b next :D.**

**-NEEN**

**Schools Out**

As I'm walking to the bus to meet Charity, I see someone on a skateboard pull right in front of me. I jump back harshly and he kicks up his skateboard to look at me. I hold my diary and look back at him.

"What was that for!" I ask dusting my black skirt off. Duncan's eyes are extremely red and he doesn't seem too happy.

"Where were you at lunch today? I waited forever and you never came! I thought you were going to meet me there everyday!" Duncan is extremely pissed off but why is he so pissed at me? I mean it was just one time!

"Well Trent asked me to go to lunch with his friends today and I said-"

"You said what! Yes! Of course you did! You're just like every other girl! Why is it that I give you a note, compliment you and you throw it away! You must love the type that treats women like trash!" Out of nowhere I smack him and I flare my nostrils to him. That's almost as mean as something my own father would say! He stops talking and I open my mouth to speak.

"First, you need to calm down and watch what you say because that hurt! Second, I'm going to miss my bus-" I start to walk off towards my bus and I feel his hands around my arm and grab me.

"Forget the damn bus Courtney!" He pulls me to the tree we were under earlier and folds his arms across his chest. "I'll walk you home." I shudder and instantly get butterflies in my tummy. Nobody ever offered to walk me home. Not even friends that I've had in the past. But then again, that's probably a good thing considering daddy and all. And oh, he might be back from jail. "UM HELLO!" Duncan waves his hands in front of my face and frowns.

"Sorry, I just have a lot on my mind." I answer honestly. Duncan seems amused and interested.

"Like what?" I frown to him and shake my head.

"None of your business! Why should you care!" I start to walk away but he grabs me again and this time I smack his hand off.

"STOP GRABBING ME LIKE THAT!" I scream at him. I feel a lot of eyes on us and I look around only to see the buses are leaving and I look crazy. Duncan's nostrils flare and he throws his skateboard to the ground. I also hear some drama from the entrance of the school and I look over to see Trent walking in my direction. His face is completely red. He squeezes between Duncan and I to spit in his face.

"What's the deal lil bro!" I hear Trent say in Duncan's face. Duncan gets closer to Trent's face and looks him up and down.

"I suggest you walk off and mind your own fuckin business ass wipe." I open my mouth wide and quickly get between the two of them and look at them both.

"STOP! Please! Why are you two fighting!" I push them away farther and I see Gwen walking in my direction as well.

"That's all brothers do is fight!" Gwen laughs under her breath and shakes her head. "They fight over any and everything. Especially girls." She winks at me and I see Trent and Duncan look at her. They both ease a smile onto their face and now I grow angry. THEY"RE BROTHERS! AND THEY FIGHT OVER GIRLS! No wonder they've been having such hostility. They've been fighting over me!

"So what precious? We fought over you too." Trent walks over to Gwen and puts his arm around her shoulders. She smiles and shakes her head.

"You're such a slut." Gwen says back as they play fight each other.

"Why didn't you tell me that you two were brothers?" Duncan looks away and doesn't answer. His head is off into the distance.

"Do you want me to walk you home or what?" I look at him and nod.

"Yes." He picks his skateboard up and starts to walk me off the school grounds not saying one word. As we walk three blocks in complete silence, I finally get tired of the attitude.

"What's your problem?" I ask. He looks at me and shakes his head.

"I have a lot on my mind too." I nod to him and look away. The wind is blowing a little harder and the sky has turned a weird green blue. Like it's about to storm or something.

"We should walk a little faster, or catch a bus or something. I have to be home soon or else-" I start regaining memories and actions that I didn't want to think about. Like the day daddy beat me raw in the back yard in the rain. How the whip slit parts of my stomach, legs and arms into my flesh. How the blood just poured out of my wounds. How he didn't care. How he did whatever he wanted and still does. Duncan looks at me concerned as he noticed I had stopped walking.

"You okay?" I hold my diary close and nod to him with a smile. "I'm not trying to lead you anywhere. I know how parents are about girls and guys. Especially as we start to get older." He grins a grim smile and winks at me. I know what he means but he's just being a goofball. "But seriously what would your parents do?" I stop walking again to look at him dead serious in the eyes. He looks so deep into them, it's like he can see the memories that are videoed inside my head. Inside my heart. Inside my skin. He nods his head. "I'm not gonna say I know, but I do understand." He starts to walk off again and I try to catch up.

"What do you mean you understand!" I frown at him and he puts his hands into his pockets.

"All parents are jerks. So you could either get a whoopin or grounded." A whoopin. That's big in our house for a beat down.

"What do you get?" I ask. Duncan looks away and he suddenly looks at the clouds. They're carrying some heavy stuff. Finally he blows out a gust of air and looks at me.

"I get everything." I look at him shocked and we look at each other. What if he is like me. If he really does understand me. If he really does go through some of the shit I've been through. Suddenly I find myself into his arms and I hug him so tight nothing in me wants to let go! He too also hugs me but not as tight. He's holding back, I can tell. Then I feel something hit my head. And then something else. And a few more things. I look up and see rain. And we are getting soaked. We let go of each other and look away. Duncan is urgent to find us shelter.

"You trust me Princess!" He shouts under the thunder. I nod my head and he takes my hand and we run. Something I'm good at. Running. Running away from any and everything. Running away to get away. Running away with someone I can trust. A friend. My new best friend. Duncan. We finally start to slow down and jog under a bridge that's pretty close my house. The rain and thunder continues to roar and tap against the concrete. The concrete under the bridge is rough but Duncan holds on to me so I don't fall. When we reach the bottom, we both pass out and breathe.

"I thought we weren't going to make it." I say breathing heavily. Duncan nods his head.

"Are we close to your house?" I look around to make absolutely sure we are.

"Yes we are." We take a few minutes to catch our breath and I sit up. My blouse is completely see through thanks to the rain. I cover myself even though I don't have much to expose. Duncan laughs but he actually looks really cute. I smirk and he chuckles.

"So uh, what you gonna do when you get home?" He asks playing with his fingers. I watch him and look at him.

"Well first, I'm going to try to sneak into my room without being caught. Second, I have to change extremely fast. Third, I'm going to take a shower as soon as daddy is calmed down." Duncan raises a brow.

"Why do you call him daddy?" I laugh and look at him.

"Well what else am I suppose to call him?" Duncan rolls his eyes.

"I wish I would call my dad daddy. I don't even call him dad." Duncan may have the strength to do that, but I sadly don't. I take his hand that he's messing with and hold it in mine. He looks at our colors. White and tan brown.

"I feel like a runaway slave no… I feel like Pocahontas." I say between my lips. Duncan's teal eyes look up to me and smile. I shyly look back to him. "Thanks for walking me home Duncan." I get butterflies in my tummy again just from saying his name.

"Don't thank me yet." Suddenly I feel him come closer to me and his hands on my cheek. I hold his hand on my cheek and close my eyes. Why can't I always feel like this? Wanted, cared for of even loved? It was then at that moment, I felt his wet lips meet mine and kiss me tenderly for the first time.

**A/N: How about THAT! REVIEW PPLZ :D**

-NEEN!


	11. Regret

**A/N: I swear you alls reviews crack me up! I love them. Your thoughts and questions *coughs* ****CXDForever****. But I have a few more shout outs! ****Lee Draqin ****thx for the compliment :D and lovin this story. ****Blah671**** hilarious review about Courtney's mom. Btw everyone who talks about her dad and mom I always crack up laughin at the words you all use. Lmao! ****E-scopeisawesome ****I'm soo going to finish this thing! And I did cry writing the previous chps. What inspired me was myself actually. I've been through so much bs with abuse and hurt and have heard other peoples stories. So I just wanted to do something nice like this. My sister said that nobody wants to read sad stories like this which kinda hurt my feelings but I'm so glad that its gettn this much popularity. xD**

It was so perfect so beautiful, how we connected. How he showed me so much care and let me hold his hand. It's like he had been waiting so long for someone like him, like me. And we finally found each other. It has stopped raining and we are about 4 minutes away from my house. It's gotten darker out here. It's only 5:45, whoa 5:45 it sure has been raining for a while. But it feels like 9:00. Duncan is walking in the street holding my hand on the sidewalk, making sure no cars splash me in the face. However, my hair is starting to dry it's super wavy and thick. He's so sweet, thinking about me. I blush and look away.

"What's wrong with you?" He asks. His voice is calm but I know inside his heart is racing.

"Nothing-" Suddenly we hear sirens come out of nowhere and Duncan leaps onto the side walk pushing me away. We both land on the concrete with him on top of me. He looks behind himself and curses loudly.

"DAMMIT THAT'S THE SECOND POLICE CAR THAT'S PASSED!" I laugh and he looks down at me. I push him off and he helps me up to my feet. Then I notice an ambulance.. No two ambulances rushing in the same direction. Duncan and I watch the direction it goes and turns. Then I hold in a breath and swallow big. It just turned into my subdivision. Immediately I grab my wet backpack and run like hell to catch up to the sirens.

"WAIT! PRINCESS!" I hear Duncan catching up behind me and I shout back.

"I HAVE TO FOLLOW IT DUNCAN! I HAVE TO!" Duncan runs close beside me and takes my hand and looks at me.

"IF IT'S SOMETHING BAD WILL YOU PROMISE TO TELL ME?" He shouts over the noise, but as soon as I turn the corner I see the ambulances and the police along with my mother outside the house on her knees crying. I look at the scene and it looks… normal? But then when I see the black Mercedes in the driveway I scream. Duncan pulls me into some bushes and covers my mouth.

"Promise me!" His grip is hard and is face is serious. I just force myself away from him but he grabs me again! "PROMISE ME PRINCESS!"

"LET GO OF ME!" I scream and kick him in the nuts. He cry's out pain while rolling around and I drop my backpack. I look in the direction of the scene and Duncan's eyes rolling back moaning my name like he wants to kill me. But I have other things on my mind. My family. I instantly run away from Duncan and sprint to the house. Big objects are going into view. The ambulance doors open. A covered stretcher. Mother screaming it's not her fault. And daddy. Nowhere to be found. There are 5 police officers coming out of the house and 2 talking to my mother. But instead of going to my mother, I head to the stretcher where an officer pushes me away.

"Nothing to see here ma'am." But I kick him and the tears are pouring from my eyes. After he's whaling on the ground now, I pull off the cover of the stretcher only to see the last thing I ever had on my mind.

"Ohh-h-h-h- N-O-o-O! CHARITTYYY!" I scream and start yelling. I can't believe this I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS! SHE'S DEAD! HE KILLED HER! HE BEAT HER DEAD! "CHARRIRTTYYY! WH-Y WHYYY WHYYYYYYYYY! I'M SOOO SORRRYY CHARRITYY!" Her face is speechless. So blue and purple. Suffocated with her own breath. No, his breath. The other officers notice the screaming and quickly run to me to cover her naked body and carry me away.

"YOUNG LADY YOU HAVE NO BUSINESS OVER HERE!"

"HOW DARE YOU UNCOVER THIS SUSPECT!"

"YOU ARE TOO YOUNG TO BE SEEING THIS!"

"I THINK IT'S TIME YOU HAD A NAP!"

"WHERE DO YOU BELONG LITTLE GIRL?"

"THIS IS NOT THE PLACE FOR YOU!"

SO MANY WORDSS! SO MUCH CONFUSION!

"SHHHUUUTTTTUUUPPP!" I scream sooo loud and pull all of the people off me. "I'M NOT TOO YOUNG! THAT'S MY SISTER! MY ONLY SISTER! AND SHE'S GONE! GONNNEEE!" The police try to calm me but I'm so angry so heated. I'm boiling under my skin, in these veins. My eyes are so blurry, my head is spinning. Too many officers, too many things and black dots? Black dots? The dots get heavier and I finally spaz out hitting the ground.

**A/N: Review please and thank you. Yes it was hard to write but its hard to blend emotions. I mean like how would you feel finding something like that? You want to do so many things. Cry, scream, hit something. Everyone deals with stuff like that but have different reactions. So it was challenging to show it. Um Yes it's a short chapter. But ill have another one up soon. Thx so much.**

-NEEN


	12. It didn't mean anything to him

**A/N: I have like a million shout outs in my head I want to give but I only want to do a few per chp. Hmm I think ima do 5 this time. ****Mashundia, xladyjagsvolleyball16x****, and ****sammz** **thnx so much for the motivation you all are just a few more people who make my day****. JordanTheStrange ****that's so cute and hopefully ur love life won't be shitty. And last ****Holly****! Your review was very sweet it made me so excited to do the next chapter, not only that but I got like 13 reviews just after posting it last night :D. Oh wait um there was this awkward one I got too, the very last one from ****Stephen****man****. Um.. Yeahh thanks for becoming apart of my story and reading it rather than um the other thing you had on your mind…..lmao. Enjoy and review everyone xD.**

"_It'll be alright sis, I'll always have your back."_

X

X

X

X

X

"_STOP YOU'RE HURTING HER!"_

X

X

X

X

X

"_YOU CAN'T KEEP IT A SECRET FOREVER!"_

X

X

X

X

X

"_DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND!" _

X

X

X

X

X

"_I'm Gay…."_

X

X

X

X

X

All of these words are buzzing in my head. Memories of Charity and I, her words I never once really swallowed. I never realized how deep she was, I only saw a disgusting creature that was called my sister. But why is it that every time something goes good, something has to come around and mess it all up. I know why, she told me it's because it's life. Life is a maze, you just have to find your way through the obstacles and make it out right. But now without someone there to hold my hand and tell me everything will be okay, I have nothing to hold onto but air. I didn't write this one in my diary this time. No this is way too deep. A mystery that I'm sure in the hell am going to solve because something isn't right. Why would daddy kill her but he not be there? I swear school is going to suck forever now. And oh my god, I completely forgot about Duncan. I know he is so pissed. But I didn't mean to hurt him, he just really needs to keep his hands to himself. I roll over on my wet pillow and look at my door. Apparently, they found her body in her closet. Her feet and hands were tied up and her whip marks were so deep and bloody. I don't even want to remember this none of it. I close my eyes only to see darkness. It's about 9:30 P.M. The house is quiet and CPS is suppose to be stopping by sometime to decide to take me away. I don't know exactly how to respond to that. But I guess I'll know sometime soon. I pull the covers over my body in my bed and finally fall asleep.

**Getting off the bus to meet school grounds**

Today I decided to wear all black. My fluffy black dress with my hair still wavy and thick. I tried to flat iron it but I hate heat eventually I'll get better at it. Mother didn't say one word to me. She was still crying and drinking in the living room. She's going crazy about Charity, maybe she feels guilty finally. I feel a presence in front of me and I look up to see Trent.

"Goodmorning beautiful." He says putting his arm around my shoulder. "I was thinking about you all last night in my dreams." He kisses my cheek and I push him away. He falls to the ground and everyone at the tree who saw laugh. Trent looks at me pissed and I give him the same look in response.

"Today is not the day for games!" I stomp off into the school building to open my locker try to do last nights homework. Today is Friday and so much crap has been going on that even_ I_ didn't get around to my homework. After 10 minutes, it's complete and the 7:35 bell rings. I pick up my sister's backpack and head to my first class.

**After lunch 5th**** period class**

Again I am sitting between two jerks. Trent and Duncan. And what makes this day even better is I heard Duncan and Gwen were seeing each other. So no wonder he hasn't said a word to me and Trent has been hovering my space. I ate lunch alone at the park today and it was awkward. I don't feel apart of the clan anymore. DJ hasn't really spoken to me today. But Trent OMG he wont leave me alonee! He's carried my books, talked about his looks and WON'T SHHUTT UP! Now he's in my space AGAIN asking for the homework.

"You know what Trent, you're really starting to get on my LAST nerve. It's nice of you to be so nice to me but there's a line that you cross and honey you crossed it a LOOOOONNG time ago. So do me a favor and HUSH!" The bell rings and suddenly someone slips in. Gwen. I guess she got kicked out of her class. There's this thing called team time out. When a student acts bad they have to go into another room and write sentences. But for some reason the teacher has given her a seat right beside….. Duncan. DUNCAN? What the hell!

"Hey." She says quietly. She looks behind her and waves to me and Trent. "Um you look very dark today." I hear Duncan chuckle in his throat but clear it. Gwen looks at him and laughs.

"Thanks I guess." I say back. She nods her head and we all look at the teacher while he puts on another movie. It's so hard to stay focused when I have a dragon breathing down my neck and my supposedly new best friend Duncan flirting with Gwen. They are passing notes and laughing. I want to pass notes and laugh too. I feel so jealous and mad. What did I do wrong in the first place? Yeah I kicked him in the nuts but so what! Get over it I didn't mean it. I slump into my seat and start recalling everything that happened yesterday. I guess our moment didn't mean anything to him.

After school lets out, I don't feel like going back home on the bus. Plus I don't know what scene would have happened today. So instead I walk to the park and plant my bottom right under the jungle jim. There I start to flow into tears and wish I were dead too.

_Dear Diary, _

I can't even write anything right now. I throw the stupid thing at the pole in front of me and everything inside of it shatters on the ground. My drawings, my pictures, and notes. I let them lay there. But when the wind picks up I regret doing that.

"NOO!" I pick up my diary and jump in the air to catch the papers. I manage to grab them all before they all disappear. About a hour half later I decide to go home.

The feeling is neutral. The Mercedes is still parked outside and when I walk inside the house it's empty? No paintings on the wall no couches in the living room and nothing in mine! And Charity's… The police yellow taped her room and closed the door. No one is to go inside. My mother comes from the bathroom and her eyes are blood shot.

"It's about time you got here!" She says going down the stairs. "Your bus came a long time ago and you weren't on it. You were suppose to help me pack." She looks at me from down the steps. "That room ain't no use to you no more. So step away from it." I roll my eyes and go down the steps with her. She grabs my arm and pulls me outside.

"Where's daddy?" I ask. She stops moving to look at me and grab her cigarette that was on the porch. She takes in a long puff and blows out a gust of smoke. I cough.

"He's somewhere. Look we got a new house. You should be happy I guess but we need to have a talk about the shit you have in your room that you're going to get rid of today." Mother acting soooo weird. Usually she'll be the one to act crazy and tell me to do everything, but instead she's talking to me like a human. Hmmm. Something is NOT right! We drive off in the Mercedes and meet three huge moving trucks. My mother takes the lead as they follow. She rolls her window down to smoke another cigarette.

"So where the fuck were yah?" She asks out of nowhere. I put my seat belt on tightly. She's been drinkin but has some of her sense.

"Um, I miss the bus so I-" Instantly she slaps the hell out of me and I get smashed into the window. I know I have a broken jaw now. But she pulls my arm over and my face is released from the glass. I rub both my cheeks and she swerves.

"DON'T YOU LIE TO ME!" She screams. Suddenly she takes her cigarette and puts it out on my neck. I scream so loud and smack it away. My neck is sizzling and burning so bad. This is the fourth cig burn my mother has given to me. She swerves again and I hit the window again. I swear we are going 20 over the speed limit. She grabs my dress and looks at me. "WHERE WERE YOU!" Just tell her Courtney just tell her!

"I WALKED HOME!" She finally lets go but she isn't finished yet. Not even close.

**A/N: SO much moree to come! Please review and THX :D**

NEEN


	13. No more us?

**A/N: Thanks soo much for the awesome reviews. Got a couple more shoutouts and um another awkward one to ****Stephen man****. Your review crack me up. Talkin about porn and going somewhere to get high. Lmao.. Um also ****Amylas45**** welcome into the story and I'm so glad your sis told you about it. XD Also ****gf ****YESH I'm going to finish real world but I wana finish this story first. It's hard writing 3 stories at one time but I when I get these ideas in my head I have to start it. But I really need to finish them because I am disappointing a lot of people. *coughs* xxxRivahxxx. AND YOU're welcome JordanThe Strange lmao xD. READ AND REVIEW! MAN I LOVE YALL!**

**-NEEN **

My mother looks so aggravated but really I should be the one mad. She put another cigarette out on my body! I have two on my right shoulder, one on my stomach and this new one on my neck. I'm never going to get a boyfriend! NEVER! I was so close to getting one but noooo he had to go with Gwen and I had to ruin everything! ALWAYS ME! I find myself in tears and wipe them away quickly. Mother notices and lights up another cig.

"Suck it up hell. Or else you'll always be weak." I look at my mother and roll my eyes. I hate her so much! She has to ruin everything! "CPS will be coming around soon and you better not say anything that'll mess up your fathers reputation or mine!" She looks at me with these daring eyes and I nod my head. I don't know what to to do. I don't know what to think. I hate my life. I wish Charity were here soo much. I miss her soo much. I break down crying and my mother smacks the hell out of me again.

"YOU STOP THAT SHIT NOW!" I swallow my emotions as we pull into this depressing new subdivision. The houses aren't as big as the ones that we lived in but is this really what daddy calls a promotion? Our house is deep into the suburb and finally I exhale my breath when I see the nicer houses. We pull into the address my mother had memorized and we see daddy directing the furniture people. The house is double decked and really nice. I get out of the car and the moment when daddy sees me, he doesn't hesitate to run to hug me.

"Aw Courtney sweetheart!" He picks me up and spins me in the air. My mother watches us and rolls her eyes as well as flares her nostrils.

"I hate you two." She spits and goes inside the house to look at it. Daddy shakes his head and holds my hand. His grip is so strong. I want so badly to let go. I want so badly to get away. I want so badly-. My thoughts are interrupted when I see a dare devil on there bike starring at me with these eyes. He comes around the corner and is looking directly at me. It can't be… Duncan? I frown and lift a brow and he lifts his in return. As he passes me by he rolls his eyes and shakes his head. I turn around to look at him again but daddy notices instantly and grabs my arms to turn around.

"What the hell was that!" His eyes are furious and I look down.

"I didn't mean to daddy. He just looked at me funny." Daddy squints his eyes and opens his mouth to say another thing.

"There will be no boys! Do you understand!" He sounds like Hitler. Such a freakin dictator I swear. He pulls me into the house to show me my new room. This house is very different. But again my room is on the second floor. This one has a balcony I can hang out on with some friends and my own bathroom. Can you say insane! Daddy says that I'm growing up and it's time I prepare to have my own space. My room is almost complete. I'm so glad he's here to direct everything. Because if he wasn't, my mother would make me do everything! Daddy stands outside on my new balcony takes in a lot of air.

"Courtney, we need to talk." I walk outside with him and he looks off into the distance. His hands grip the railing hard. "Just because Chamber isn't here anymore doesn't mean that any is going to hold you back. I just want to let you know that she overdosed and you know she chose that lifestyle. I tried to keep her away from these partying boys but you know she chose the wrong path." He looks down to me and I look away. He is suck a dick. Only he would say something so twisted and messed up. Charity didn't do drugs! She didn't like boys! He doesn't fuckin know! HE DOESN'T! He touches my arm and pulls my chin up. "But I know you little Courtney will not make the same mistake." He pulls me into a hard hug. I don't bother to hug back. What if I do decide to get away from here just so I can be free? What would that make me? What would he call me? When he pulls away from me he looks at face and notices a spot on my neck. He doesn't even bother to ask politely to glance at it, he just twist my neck and it cracks. He looks at intense and squints.

"When did this happen!" I almost start to cry but I look away. He squeezes my neck harder waiting for my answer and I squeal it out.

"It's a cigarette burn-" At that instant he let go of my neck and pushes me away.

"What did you do?" I look at crazy. He knows I'm not a bad girl. He's just trying to stand up from mommy. But then again if I tell him what happened…. He will find something else to do in the worst way. He tenses up and suddenly we hear my mother getting into an argument with someone and daddy listens.

"I better go see what the hell is wrong with her. But I will be back to talk about this later." He pats my shoulder and walks away closing my room door. I look off into my new neighborhood and think. But I have so many questions to ask. Like what happened when he went to jail? Did he drop the soap? HOW DID HE GET RELEASED! WHO RELEASED HIM AND THE FUCK WHY! I just want to know the truth. I want to know why she had to go. I want to know why she left. I want to know why she didn't think of how this would effect me. I hear a knock on my room door and I walk over my stretched room to answer it. When I look up, I gasp. I didn't think I was ever going to see her again! Ginger comes into my room and instantly we hug and hold each other tight. How did she know we had moved!

"Oh my god Ging!" We both start to sob and she lets go of me to look me in my eyes. I close my door and we sit on my floor.

"I'm s-s-so sorry to interrupt your hap-ppiness." She says breaking down into tears again. I wipe mine away and hold her hand.

"No there's no happiness here. It's just that we had to move and I don't know. How did you figure out our new address?" I ask Ging. She starts to calm herself and she shows me a piece of paper. It has the address written down on it in messy handwriting. The paper too is damp and wrinkled.

"She called me just before the accident. She said that you weren't home again and and…." Ginger immediately starts to cry. I flashback into my memory. Last time I didn't go home on time, the police found me because I thought Charity had snitched. But daddy made her talk she has poof in her flesh. But this time he wasn't playing. She really must have been holding out on me to have such a serious thing like death become her consequence. I shudder thinking of the picture I saw on the stretcher. I get so pissed. I shake my head. Her death was my fault. I shouldn't have listened to Duncan and let his infatuation get to me. But it did. He did. He got so deep into my system it was like I didn't want him to go. And I didn't let him go and he didn't let me go. All I wanted was to feel loved by the opposite sex. Not just my low life dad. He loves me for the wrong reasons. I want Duncan to love me for the right. At that thought, I suddenly break down and cry too.

Several hours later, I wake up hearing my parents arguing. I see a suitcase by my door and a figure outside smoking on my deck. I sit up from the floor to see Ginger. She notices my awakening and puts her cig down to help me to my bed.

"You poor thing, you must be so tired." I nod my head and rub my eyes. I look at my Hello Kitty clock and it says 11:30 P.M. I jump. I slept that late. Ginger laughs at my reaction.

"What are you still doing here though?" I ask her. She shrugs her shoulders.

"I need some company. I really miss Char a lot. Our connection was so amazing. And now she's gone. You don't mind if I stay a while do you?" I shake my head no. I glad to still have Ginger to look up to as a sister. But what if daddy finds out about her or my mother.

"Oh and you don't have to worry about your parents finding me. There's like this closet thing within your closet and its pretty roomy." I nod my head and yawn with a stretch. Ginger notices a purple mark on my neck and rubs it.

"What happened?" I hold it and hide it away.

"I know it's hideous. My mother did it to me earlier." Ginger gets up and looks through her purse. A band aid and Neosporin. She shrugs.

"Never know when you're gonna need it." She applies a thick layer onto my neck and puts a band aid over it. It sizzles and feels like a relief. I thank her. She nods her head and pulls back my covers. "Well get some sleep little Char." She kisses my forehead and I turn over to go directly to sleep.

The next morning I pull out a thin grey dress. This one is another one of my favorites. It shows my tiny curves. Ginger did my hair in curls today and put me in makeup! Thin black eye liner and mascara. I look like a teenager! So beautiful. She also takes care of my neck with a smaller layer of Neosporin and no band aid. Daddy comes up to my room to knock on my door and give me my lunch. He also tells me that he will be taking me to school and picking me up from now on. I shake my head and grow upset. So much for freedom. After I'm dressed, I head to the car where daddy stands. Suddenly he grows pissed.

"Who told you to wear that outfit! AND IS THAT MAKEUP!" He rips my backpack from my hands and throws it to the ground. "WHO THE HELL ARE GETTING GOOD FOR!" Suddenly she slaps my brown cheeks and throws me into the backseat of the car. He starts the engine and I notice he didn't get any sleep last night. "So just because I give you your own room to get dressed and pretty in, you think you can take advantage of it. Hmm well I got something for your ass. You want to look so pretty." He drives like a maniac down the road and cursing to himself. Why does it hate that I look beautiful for once! Just for once I can't do anything for myself. I don't want to cry and ruin my makeup. But daddy's words are making me. "You want to be just like your dead crazy ass sister! A druggie and skank! Don't cha Courtney! The fuck do you think I am! I'm your daddy little girl! YOUR DADDY!" When he pull up into the school she swerves into a parking spot and drags me into the passenger seat. I stop sobbing and twists my head around to look at him.

"Sweetie it's not that daddy doesn't love you. It's just I hate when other guys look at you. You know like they want something. But I promise you, I will always be here to protect you." He kisses my head and I fake smirk. "Now get out there. I'll be back on my lunch break to pick you up sweetheart." I get out of the car and everyone is looking. When he backs out from the school grounds I sit under a different tree and think. My life sucks so bad. Nobody knows or understands the crap that I went through, been through, survived through. And nobody respects me for it. I slump into the dirt when I hear some guys voices. I listen.

"So what you kissed her! What the hell does that mean! Anyone can kiss a girl." Hmm that has to be Trent.

"But not the way I kissed her. I put so much emotion into that she thought I was serious. She even held my hand!" That can't be! I turn around to see the faces of Geoff, Duncan, and Trent. They can't be talking about me. "Plus I see you still have yet to score lil bro."

I hear Duncan and Geoff laugh. "Whatever, this bet isn't over. I still put my twenty down." BET! A BET! ON ME! What! I start to whence and lose control of my emotions. I thought we did have something! Now I know why Trent has been on my case so much.

"Man the bet expires today. If you don't hustle her someway it's over. Your twenty becomes my 40! She's not that hard to get. All you gotta do is act like you know her. I did. I slid so easily into her mind that she couldn't get me out of it. And she probably still can't. But I know she's mad that Gwen and I are back." Trent folds his arms over.

"She's your's just until this bet is over then she's mine again." Duncan rolls his eyes.

"As far as I'm concerned, you can have her. But seriously Courtney may look hard but on the inside she is completely easy. Don't you remember her sister!" At that instant I get up from the ground and expose myself to all three guys. Duncan smacks himself in the face and they all see my makeup ruined. My eyes smeared and the tears going. Trent holds his breath and looks away as Geoff back away.

"I have nothing to do with this." He runs off to find Katie and I watch as Duncan and Trent shake their heads. Busted!

**A/N: Can't wait to put up the next chapter. As a matter of fact I feel like going another round. Next chp coming soon! **

**-NEEN **


	14. New friend

**A/N: Big shout out to smt1721 xD thx for the idea. I defiantly didn't think about that but it sure the hell has given me some surprising ideas. Also xXxIVYxXx im glad you got that out of your system and I hope you like the rest of this story. And thank you PrepPrincess as well for loving this story :D. And BostonKid ill think of someway to add him in.. I hope lmao. KK here goes anothaaa one REVIEW xD**

**-NEENZ**

_You will have someone too. Don't worry. Someone is out there for you. Maybe not now, but trust me, they are just praying the hell out of god for you_

X

X

X

X

X

Trent and Duncan are in complete silence. I open my mouth to start talking.

"So that's really what you think of me! EASY!" I shout. Duncan and Trent look at each other.

"It's not even like that Princess-" Duncan hold out his arms to me but I smack them away. He rolls his eyes. "What is wrong with you!"

"WHATS WRONG WITH ME! Are you kidding! You kiss me and it's a lie. You talk to me and it's a lie! You tell me you're adopted and IT'S A LIE! JUST SO YOU CAN GET INSIDE OF ME!" I start to break down crying and Duncan see's my struggle. Trent fold his arms over.

"Actually the adoption part is true." Duncan and I look at him and shake our heads. "WHAT! It's true!" Duncan walks over to me and tried to hug me but I push him away.

"Just leave me alone! Don't ever speak to me again! I thought maybe just maybe one guy could love me for who I am. Even through all the crap I've been through!" I inhale so much air to calm down. "But NO! NO! NOT EVEN AN UGLY ASS BASTARD LIKE YOUR SELF COULD! WHAT THE HELL DO YOU KNOW ABOUT LOVE! YOUR OWN PARENT'S DIDN'T WANT YOU!" I run away and straight inside the school building. Today was going not good. Not going good at all.

Trent nor Duncan have showed up in any of my classes I have with them. Even in lunch they weren't there. But I did she Heather and Gwen talking. LeShawna hasn't spoken much to me either. Her and Gwen are so tight. I shake my head in class and the bell rings. Gwen walks in late and sits diagonal from me.

"Where the hell have Duncan and Trent been all day!" She asks me. I look away. "Um hello! Only you would know. You're the one who ran them off today!" I look at her crazy and slam my fists on my desk.

"You do NOT want to get an attitude with me today! Plus I'm glad they're gone. They are douche bags and I feel bad for you because you think they both love you." The teacher hears my out burst and Gwen gets out of my desk to look down to me.

"Feelin froggy? Then leap." The teacher comes between us and escorts us outside the classroom.

"You on this side of the door. And you on the other! Now hush! And work!" He slams the door behind him and I grab my pencil to work. Gwen just pushed the paper away looks at me.

"I know what you're talking about Courtney." I look at her and squint my eyes. She is such a bitch. "Seriously, the bet. I know. I knew the whole time about it. I just didn't tell you because I wanted you to see where I came from. Those two are jerks but honestly I wont hesitate to say, Duncan really does have a thing for you." I open my eyes wide and look at her. A second ago she wanted to fight me and now she's trying to be my friend.

"What makes you think that! He's been playing games with me from day one." Gwen shakes her head.

"No he wasn't at first. Well when DJ was hitting on you. But then Trent came up with the bet. They did it on me this summer. But they're like my best friends. I'll give you your props though. You really stood up to them." Gwen smiles and nods her head. "Sometimes I actually wish I was in your shoes. Because the way that Duncan takes up and looks at you is the same way I wish Trent would do to me again. But ever since Heather came into the picture, he can't choose between us." Gwen looks down and actually starts to cry. "I thought he would love me but Heather moved here and Trent was all over her. You might even be surprised to hear that Duncan made out with her. The terrible two."

No wonder Duncan became so hostile when I mentioned her. He did have feelings for her. But Trent took her away and now he has the power to jungle around as many girls as he wants. And Duncan is jealous because he can't, he lost the power.

"So yeah, if you're going to hate me then hate me but you are a cool kid." I smile at Gwen and I put my hand out to shake it.

"Thanks. I guess you aren't such a bitch after all." Gwen laughs and we sit together to finish the worksheet.

After school lets out I wait for daddy in the parking lot. Gwen is with me and LeShawna has even managed to gain some respect for my standing up to Trent and Duncan. We talk about having a sleepover and chilling together. It sounds like so much fun. I've never had a lot of friends that were girls to have sleepover's with. As soon as daddy pulls into a space I wave then bye. But The two of them run to give me a hug. I see daddy smile. I run to the car and get into the passenger seat.

"Hello sweetheart. I see you made two new friends." I nod to him as he backs out of the school property. "How was school today?" I look off into the school property and I see Duncan. He flips me off and his eyes are red. I suddenly slump down into my seat and look at the road.

"It was fine daddy, just fine." The rest of the trip goes by quietly. When we pull up into the driveway, I see some lady arguing with my mother. Daddy shakes his head.

"I have to get back to work now. I'll be home soon. There are some snacks in the fridge you can eat until I get home." I get out of the car and daddy backs out to leave for work. The lady suddenly comes to me and grabs my hand. My mother is right behind her threatening her to touch me.

"DON'T YOU TOUCH MY DAUGHTER!" My mother stomps to me and grabs my other hand. I being yanked back and fourth by two people. I get a headache and throw them both off my arms.

"STOP!" I scream. The lady walks towards me again and comes to my level.

"Shall we go inside and talk?" I nod to her and my mother folds her arms across her chest. I lead the lady up to my room and close the door. Ginger is no where is sight but my backpack sits on my bed from this morning. I sigh. The lady looks around my room and then stands in the middle of the floor.

"This is a lovely room honey." I nod to her and politely thank her. "My name is Cheryl." I lift a brow. Why does everyone have a name that begins with a C.

"Hey." she comes over to shake my hand and I pull her outside on my little deck to talk. "So I'm guessing you are the CPS lady huh?" She nods her head slowly and smiles.

"Yes I am Courtney. I am aware of your sisters passing and how hard it must be on you. But you must know that I am here for you." I thank her again. She starts to open our session.

"So um, how do your parents treat you?" I think about the question this sigh.

"Um they treat me well. Food to eat, a place to stay-" I feel her hand on my arm and I flinch.

"No um hun, physically. How do they treat you physically? Like do they whip you or hurt you in any way?" I gulp hard. I look over my balcony to see my mother in the window smoking a cigarette. She squints her eyes.

"Oh well yeah I get in trouble sometimes and I get spankins but anything other than that, no." Cheryl nod her head and writes down what I said.

"Have you ever been threatened by your mother or even manipulated?" I shake my head. Cheryl seems too notice how easy I'm answering these questions.

"Sweetheart, you can tell me the truth. I know what it's like for people your age to lie for your parents so they don't get in any trouble. Now are you really telling me the truth?" I look off into the sky and think about my mothers words. My daddy's words. And last Charity's words. I want to be strong enough to leave myself. I want to turn heads. I want to make Charity happy because I know she is with me and knows I can over power anything.

"Yes, I am telling you the truth." I smile to her and she nods her head.

"Ok then, it looks like my work here is done. If you ever feel neglected or anything, just call me." She gives me her business card. We exit the balcony to go back into my bedroom. I put the card on my hello kitty clock and open my door. We head down the steps and my mother looks at the woman and blows a cloud of smoke outside her mouth.

"Satisfied?" She asks. Cheryl shakes her head.

"You will be sorry." Cheryl pats my head bye and I close the door behind her.

"Good, now go next door and get some sugar. We ain't got none." I roll my eyes and go to my room to change clothes and put my hair up. My curls have come down and become weak. I put on a T-shirt and pajama's go to next door. I walk outside my house and cross into my yard to go to the next. When I reach their porch I ring the door bell. Someone comes to the door and opens it. I open my mouth in shock. You _cannot _be serious.\

**A/N: Much more comin ahead folkss KK REVIEW! XD love you all soo much!**

**-NEEN**


	15. Obsessed?

The thoughts that are buzzing in my head can't even describe how I'm feeling right now. Everything is jumbled and I want to run away and wish I never stepped foot onto this porch, into his face. I frown immediately and when he looks up to meet my eyes, he flares his nostrils.

"What do _you_ want?" I put my hands on my hip and release a breath of air. His ears are covered with skull candy headphones and hands holding a cell phone and ipod.

"I just came over to have some sugar." Suddenly I see him smirk at the lips and laugh extremely loud. I frown. What the hell is so funny! Then someone passes the door slowly and stops.

"Oh you little Duncan, got his first girl. Now go on sweetie give that girl some suga!" The creepy person says in a elderly voice. I peep around the door to see a little old tan lady. Completely harmless. But his grandma? He lives with a grandma? Wow that's really sad. I fold my arms over and he becomes disgusted.

"Oh no not that kind of sugar. I mean't-"

"Why don't you take yo old ass somewhere and sit." I open my mouth wide and hit him in the arm. Who the hell talks to their grandma like that! He then turns to me and frowns. "And why don't you get a clue and get the fuck off my stoop!" He slams the door in my face and I find myself to be banging right back on it. He sounds like that one ignorant kid from Hey Arnold. When he opens the door again, I pull him outside with me.

"YOU DON'T TALK TO OLD PEOPLE LIKE THAT!" He pushes my hands off him and dusts himself off.

"She doesn't give a damn! And who the hell are you to tell me what I do! You're nothing but a mean ass bitch who gives low blows! So you have no reason to be over here. So fuck your sugar, fuck my grandma and fuck you!" He walks back into the house and slams the door for good. I stand in utter shock staring at the door. I didn't mean to piss him off, I didn't mean to hurt his feelings. I look down and get ready to turn away but then I hear another door slam in the back. I walk between my house and his to see him crying? He's actually crying? His headphone are off and cell phone are out of sight. Then I hear someone else coming out of the door screaming.

"YOU BETTER NOT FUCKIN BE LYIN TO BE BOY! DID YOU STEAL SHIT FROM THAT PRINCIPAL?" Duncan looks at him and boy is he HUGE! Like the incredible Hulk x9! His pants are two seconds from bursting and shirt hangs low. He looks quite sloppy if you ask me. But how could Duncan be related to that? Duncan shakes his head back and fourth and suddenly I watch as the guy grabs him by the neck and throws him against the wall. I look away and close my eyes. I know his bones are crushed. I peep my eyes open to look at the scene but then I'm spotted. The guy points to me and yells for me to come here but I run back to the front of the yard and into my house, slamming the door hard. My mother comes running from the bathroom with her pants down. I hold my nose and look away.

"GOD DAMMIT IT WAS JUST YOU!" She runs back into the bathroom and I make a disgusted face.

Ten minutes later I'm eating a snack and up in my room pacing. Duncan is either being a jerk because he just completely is one or he's just doing it for attention. Obviously his behavior must be usual because he seems like he gets the business from his dad all the time. He also looks like he could be a liar. Which means he may have lied about me being easy just so he could make Trent leave me alone. But no.. why would he do that! All I can think about is Duncan.. Duncan Duncan Duncan… Nothing else but his goofy looking Mohawk and black clothing. Nothing but his eccentric, mysterious personality that I still have yet to see into. But when will I be able to see it! So many questions so many thoughts. I lay flat onto my bed and close my eyes. I wish Charity were still here so she could talk to me about boys.. Well relationships anyway. I wonder when she even began to start feeling gay.. Like when she began to develop feelings for girls. I wonder if that will happen to me? Daddy never knew about Charity's secrets so does that mean I should keep mine from him? I guess as long as I'm a teenager, everything should stay hidden until I am a legal adult.

I hear some grunting from my balcony outside and I walk out to see what it is. I look down to meet bright teal eyes and I scream. I fall back against the glass sliding door as the figure jumps over top of my balcony to meet me. I hear a knock on my bedroom door and it's my mother telling me to shut up. When I finally catch my breath, I open my eyes to meet the teal eyes again.

"Boo!" I huff a sigh of relief into his face and he backs away. I get up to dust myself off and I fold my arms over.

"What do you think you are DOING!" He rolls his eyes and folds his arms over as well.

"I just came over to tell you that if you tell anyone what you saw, I will personally come over here and beat the living hell out of you." I open my mouth wide to take up for myself but he takes over.

"And yes you were over there because I saw you and so did Mav." I close my mouth and look down. He caught me. But I couldn't help it. He's the one who made it seem like he was going to commit suicide or something.

"I was just checking to see what was going on." I said with no emotion. He nods his head and looks away.

"And now that you know, I suppose I won't see your face mettlin in my yard again?" I frown at him.

"I wasn't mettling you idiot. I was just-"

"Eavesdropping?" I roll my eyes and hear a car door slam. I look around paranoid and then I hear the front door opening. Suddenly I find my hands on Duncan's arms pushing him over the balcony.

"What the hell!"

"You have to go NOW!" I say urgent. I can't even imagine what daddy would do if he saw a boy in my room! Can you say six feet deep? Duncan pulls one leg over the balcony and while I'm pushing him he slips and lands on the hand pole with his legs apart. I look away as he cries out in agony.

"DAMMIT COURTNEY THAT'S THE SECOND TIME!" He tries to regain his strength but I guess that he hit it pretty hard because he wasn't moving. I apologize a million times but even my apologies don't mean anything. He hops back over the railing to meet my face and grabs my wrists. "You have one more time to hit me in the nuts! And If you do I swear I'm gonna-" I hear a knock at my door and we both stop to look at it. I yank his hands from around my wrists and pull him into my room.

"Courtney, sweetheart? Are you in there?" I try to think as fast as I can to hide Duncan. Closet or under the bed? Hmm. I hear the door creaking open and I push Duncan across my bed top the other side of my room. Daddy opens the door, peeping in smiling. He looks around my room and I stand with my arms behind my back.

"Hey sweetie, I just wanted to check to see if everyth-" He stops in mid sentence sniffing something in the air. I look around and watch him as he enters my bedroom. I start to smell the air too, it does smell kinda funny. Like someone's been smoking.

"Courtney, have you been outside? Or have you been leaving your door open?" He walks outside to my deck and walks back inside. I sniff myself and look at him.

"My door has been open. But maybe it's the next door neighbors or something. I'm sure-"

"ACTually I have been meaning to introduce you to our neighbors." Daddy cuts me off and tells me to sit on my bed. I sit on my bed and cross my legs.

"What are they like?" He smiles to me and looks outside my door.

"Well first, one of them is my best friend. His name is Maverick, Mav for short. We used to hang out a lot back in my day and when we moved over here I was sure the hell surprised to see him. Anyway, he has two kids. I don't know who they are but I'm sure they are around here. However, there will be no guys." He squints his eyes at me and I gulp. We stay at silence for a while but then he gets up to stretch. "You will meet him very soon and Courtney, when I say he's a very nice man, I mean he's a _very_ nice **man**." Daddy elaborates on each word. I nod my head. I don't exactly know what he means by a very nice man but I guess that as long as he's nice then it doesn't matter. Daddy turns to exit my room and when he closes the door behind him, I run to the other side of my bed to get Duncan. He's layin down chillin lookin at my ceiling.

"Ok little boy, time for you to leave." I grab his arm from under his head and he pushes me away.

"I can get up myself thank you." He gets up slowly and takes another look around at my room. "You sure are one hell of a girly girl." I roll my eyes and push his back outside my sliding door. But before he goes over my balcony, he stops to look at me again. "You really are a bitch you know?" I sigh and look away.

"Then I must be getting too close to you." I flick him off and he laughs. His laughter for some reason irritates me. It's like he's laughing at me because he thinks I'm a joke. Out of nowhere, I push his body off my railing and he falls down into the grass below. I smile at him while he cries out in pain.

"Better find a way up soon, because if my dad catches you out there…." I pause to think of all the crap he could do to Duncan. I look down to him again. "Well lets just say you're going to have an early funeral." I laugh at him and skip back into my room. This had been one hell of a day! Meeting this CPS lady, getting into with Gwen and now Duncan.. He called me a bitch! I've never been called.. I pause and fold my arms over. I guess I have been called that before.. By my own dang on dad. I wish I could call my dad by his first name and he not care. I wish I could sneak around and do teenage things.. Kinda like charity. She wasn't out doing bad, she just wanted to get away! And for once! I don't blame her. I wonder where Ginger is. I lay onto my bed and fall asleep. I hope this weekend goes smooth. I really do.

**A/N: I've been thinking of a lot of ways to end this story. I mean it's not gonna end soon but I gotta think of something. And I keep altering it. But it's going to be deep and when I say deep I mean DEEEPP! Okay review folks xD!** **OMG! How could I forget the shoutouts. Only a couple this chp. But one for Mahn because they told me to hurry the hell up and there yah got it! Lmao. I wanted to put this up yesterday but became lazy. This chapter goes out to FullOfDeath btw with the CPS thing.. So yeah thx for the reviews every1!**

**-Neen**


	16. Truth Hurts

**A/N: I didn't mean to underline so much last chp. I fixed it though. I didn't notice it until I uploaded it to the site. I want to do a big shoutout to my boyfriend. He is another reason why I wrote such an emotional story about abuse and stuff. I look up to him and he looks up to me and I love how he reads my stories. I really appreciate it everyone. **

The next morning I wake up to smell smoke in the air again. I cough abruptly and I open my eyes to see Ginger outside the on the balcony smoking. It's still kind of dark out so it must be really early. I look at my Hello Kitty clock, 5:36. I yawn loudly and get out of my bed to see what's up with Ging. I open the screen and she jumps in shock when she see's my appearance. She's dressed in her black pajama pants and tank top. Her arm is covered in cuts that I've noticed before. Unless.. They're fresh. I walk over to her and put my arm around her.

"Are you doing okay?" She looks down to me. Her eyes are purple underneath and skin is pale white. She looks so unhealthy. She finally shakes her head and looks away to take another deep inhaling of her cigarette. I look down, nervous to ask about her arms but then she opens her mouth to speak.

"No Courtney, I've actually have been very depressed. So depressed that-" She stops in her sentence to brush away the tears that have rolled onto her cheeks. She then shows me her arms. Slashed, dashed and scraped. It breaks my heart how much my sister's death has hurt her. I hug her and she hugs back. Her touch reminds me of Charity. So much of Charity.

"But Charity wouldn't want you to be sad Ginger. She would want you to be happy and move on-"

"But there's no one else like her! No one else who understands me and how I understood her. Nobody can complete me as much as she did Courtney. And what pisses me off more is how she didn't even have a funeral! Your sick parents didn't even care about your sister enough to give her a funeral!" Ginger tosses her cigarette to break down and cry. I hold onto her and try to suck up my feelings as well. I love Charity too but there has to be a point in time when you let go. I still want to know some information about her death because my sister was not a druggie! Ginger starts to calm down and looks up into my eyes.

"I shouldn't be showing you this much emotion. You're so young and little. Please don't let your dad take advantage of you. Be strong like Charity." I nod my head and we hug tight. Then I flashback into my memory.

"Um for the future, maybe I shouldn't start wearing makeup until I reach high school." I say. Ginger laughs and shake her head.

"I forgot to ask you about that. Um why was your backpack on the ground? I was leaving to go over my moms but I noticed it. Luckily, I caught everything before it blew away." I smile to her and just shake my head.

"Daddy saw my outfit and make up and went ballistic! He literally just threw me in the back of the car and drove me to school cursing the entire way." We laugh and then I hear something vibrate. Ginger digs in her pocket to retrieve her cell phone and she glance at it. She rolls her eyes and puts it back into her pocket. I look at her with worried eyes. She sighs.

"I have to tell you something Courtney." She pauses to look off into the distance and take a deep breath. "I'm going to an alternative school that's really far from here…", She takes another deep breath and starts to sob again. An alternative school? I've never heard of those before. I thought there was only public and private. I tug on her Pj's.

"What's an alternative school Ging?" She looks down to me again.

"An alternative school is for people who need special assistance. I may look like a normal old high school junior but Courtney, I'm-m-mm-" She starts to break down crying again and then finally spits it out. "PREGNANT!" I open my mouth wide. How is she Prego? She's gay too isn't she? And I thought she was with my sister. More secrets are coming out but who knew they'd be coming from Ging? I hold onto her trying not to beat her with the questions forming in my head but I feel something in her wants to tell me the truth. She stops crying to straighten up and talk to me.

"We should sit." We sit down on the concrete balcony and lean against the railing. I wait patiently for her to talk. "So you know how Charity would come over sometimes to get away from your parents right?" I nod my head and remain silent. "Well we would spend late nights together. I only did that so I could keep away my issues. Because Courtney, I know what it feels like to be raped by your father. My dad has raped me over 30 times since I was 10 years old." I look down and start to cry. I can't believe this. She is like my sister and I. We were sexually abused but I still kinda am. Ginger takes her finger and places it under my chin. We make eye contact as the tears fall from my eyes. "The baby that is in my stomach right now is his and I haven't told him. I know he knows. He knows he knows. And I told my mother that I needed to go off to a place where I can meet people who are more like me. She told me it was called alternative school but its more like a school for depressed Prego's who believe they can't make it through school. So yeah, I'm leaving tomorrow." I don't want Ginger to leave though. She's helped me through my sisters death and everything. She was there for me too when I had issues going on. But why does she have to leave me now? I jump into her lap and she snuggles into me. I feel her breathing on my neck. I'm going to miss her so much. "I promise to write you." I hold her tighter. I know Charity is holding us too, with her invisible arms, but I can feel it in my heart. We let go of each other and sigh.

"Thanks for telling me the truth Ginger. I really feel much more closer to you. You promise to keep in touch with me?" She nods her head and I take another look at the scars on her arm. "So what are you going to do about those?" She looks at the marks and rubs them gently.

"I've stopped for the moment. But honestly sweetie, I don't know." I nod my head and look up into the sky. It's gotten a lot lighter out and it has to be somewhere close to 6 something. We've been out here for a while it feels like. I get off Ginger's lap to stretch and she picks out another cigarette. I frown to her and laugh.

"So that's that smell that keeps disturbing my sleep." She smiles to me and nods.

"Sorry, I'm stressed but smoking helps kinda.. I guess." I nod my head and go back into my room. I decide to lay back down until I wake back up. No telling what daddy has on his agenda for me today.. Or rather us.

**A/N: Got another chp coming s00n xD. Review pplzzz pwezz and ty! **

NEEN


	17. Meet and Greet

I wake up feeling hot breath on my face. I open my eyes to see blue eyes and I back away to see daddy's smooth face. He smiles to me and pulls my hair out of my face.

"Good morning beautiful." He kisses my forehead and I hold my arms against my face. I don't know what he has planned in his mind but I sure the heck don't want to find out. He suddenly pulls something from under his arm. The house phone. He looks at it and smiles brightly. "One of your new friends called a few minutes ago. Her name was Ginger. She wants to stop by later. I told her she could come around 2. It's 11 at the moment but I was wanted to tell you." He kisses my forehead again and I nod my head. "I know you're hungry sweetheart. So lets go downstairs and get you something to eat." I start to sit up until I realize that the covers I had onto of me are gone. I feel myself and notice the clothes that were on me are gone. I look up to daddy to see that grim smirk on his lips. I start to cry. He's done it again, this time in my sleep. He's starting to get worse. I sit up onto my bed and cover my chest that for some reason are hurting. This pain isn't usual. When I stand I feel my stomach knot up and I cry out in pain. Daddy watches as I hunch walk over to my dresser and get out a gown. I slide it on while he zips up his pants. I know what he was up to but at least he didn't make physical contact with me. He opens my bedroom door and we go down the stairs. Mother is walking around naked eating the French Toast Daddy made. I sit in a chair near the table and wait for my food.

"Why don't you grow up and put some clothes on!" Daddy says angrily towards my mother. She shakes her head.

"What happed to you liking this?" Daddy looks at her while she twirls and dances for him. I roll my eyes and watch him.

"_That_ got saggy old and stank." I open my mouth wide. Wow he just called my mother unattractive. She puts her hands on her hip and rolls her neck.

"You got the nerve to talk about someone being saggy. Last time I checked it took yo dick 10 minutes to get hard." I sigh. Here we go with an argument. That's all they do is argue but I think daddy has learned not to put his hands on my mother. He brings my plate of French toast to me along with a glass of milk and eggs. I pray before I eat. My mother watches me and shakes her head.

"You always tryna make a scene wit yo bitch ass. Why don't you get yo ass up and cook somthin. Shit we aint gon baby yah ass all through yo teenage years." My mother walks into the bathroom and slams the door. I hear her crying behind it. I feel bad for her but at the same time she's a real bitch. Daddy sits next to me and takes my hand.

"Don't worry about your mother. She's just jealous that she doesn't have such a beautiful body like you do little Courtney." I look down and continue to eat. I mean what am I suppose to say to that? Of course he's a perv but I can't say thank you to that. "So after you're done eating, I want you to change into something gorgeous. You're going to meet daddy's old best friend. I promise he'll be very good to you Courtney. I promise."

_I promise he'll be very good to you Courtney, I promise._

X

X

X

X

X

He does that smirk I hate on his face. I don't smile at all. Not one bit.

After I'm done eating I take a long, hot, steamy shower and put my hair into a ponytail. My chest has calmed for the moment but when I look in the mirror I notice they have grown slightly. I mean I wasn't flat in the front. I had some curves but my boob look like they are pilling out. I smile. However, my stomach is still acting up. It's not that I'm constipated, I think it's because I'm about to throw up. But the food won't come out. I shake my head and continue to get dressed. I take the make up that covered my blemishes the first time over them again. I wear a thin sun dress with sandals and head downstairs afterwards. It's 12:30 and I'm ready to get this meet and greet over with.

"You look great sweetheart." Daddy takes my hand and we walk next door. This is the same house I came over to yesterday. But not just any old house. Duncan's house. It's just as big as mine but he has more accessories. Like a pool, basketball goal and deck. I know he has parties. Daddy rings the door bell and the little old lady comes to the door to answer.

"Aww hello little David. It's been so long. Please come inside." David? I didn't even know daddy's name was David. Wow. My own mother doesn't even call him David. We step into the household and the grandma grabs her cane. "Maverick is outside with his boys. You know how boys are. Troublesome." Daddy shoots me a stare and I try not to look at him. That means that I better not be seen with either of them. When we make it to the deck, the big huge guy looks at the see-through door and instantly smiles. Daddy forces the grandma out of his way to hug is old best friend. The grandma looses her step and trips to land on the countertop. I run to help her.

"Sorry, I hope you didn't hurt yourself." I say. I hear the guys outside talking while I'm trying to help Grandma.

"Aw it's alright suga. I'm so darn used to being tossed around by those two boys." I nod to her. I'm used to being tossed around by Daddy. Beating and sexually abused for so long at such a young age. It's whatever to me too. I hear Daddy calling my name and I run to get outside. I hold onto his hand and Maverick looks at me, up and down. I feel very uncomfortable. He's looking at me like I'm something he wants and not in a good way. Maverick bends down to my level and pinches my cheek.

"Looks just like you boy!" He shouts loudly laughing. I hold my cheek which is now sore and frown. "Call meh Mav sweetie. I'm yah old dad's best friend. We grew up together. We're so close that whatever is mine is his and his is mine." He winks at me and I shudder. I don't like the way he just said that. "Yah little one was caught over yesterday. She saw meh yellin at uh.. What's yo name boy?" Maverick turns to the side and there appears Duncan and Trent. They look completely different. One in all black and the other in white and green. It's apparent they're favorite color is green. Duncan rolls his eyes and sighs.

"It's Duncan Mav, remember?" Duncan waves to me and shakes his head.

"Yeah boy Duncan. Yah little one saw me about to beat the breaks off this little boy. But she stopped me and saved his little life." I watch Duncan roll his eyes again and curse at Mav behind his back. I giggle and daddy frowns at me. I stop laughing and Duncan lifts a brow. I know he has questions but why would I tell him. I'm still mad about that bet. He think's I've forgotten but I haven't!

"Well she did, did she? I'm sorry Mav, it won't happen again. She likes to wonder around when she has nothing to do but I'm sure it won't ever happen again. I promise." I watch as daddy gulps hard in his throat. Mav is still looking at me wit these eyes. Suddenly he stops and looks into the kitchen window.

"Aye man no worries. But lets uh go inside an talk. It's been a while. Let the kids chat." Daddy gives me a horrendous look and I nod. Mav grabs daddy around the neck and they go inside to talk. Trent and Duncan look at each other and laugh. I stand alone with my hands in front of me.

"So you gonna come over here or what?" Duncan asks. I take a deep breath and walk over to the table they're at. Duncan is stretched out in this lawn chair and Trent jus looks sad. I sit down in the chair Mav was sitting in and look down.

"Why the hell is your dad such a suck up?" Duncan asks out of nowhere. I frown to him and then shrug.

"I never knew he was." I answer honestly. I feel something vibrate and Trent pulls out his cell phone. He reads something and shakes his head. Instantly, his fingers are going to work on the keypad.

"What is that you're doing?" I ask. He lifts a brow to me and the two brother start to laugh. I frown. "Seriously, it's bad enough I had to come over here with daddy and you two make fun of me. Can you at least answer one serious question?" Trent nods his head.

"I guess you're right." He shows me his phone and I look. "This is called a text message. It's from Gwen. We text back in fourth to each other since Duncan broke up with her." I look at Duncan and frown.

"Why'd you do that? You two were only together for like.. A day.." He nods his head and sighs.

"I only did it to make you mad." Trent and Duncan start to laugh and I frown at them both. I swear they are jerks! And playing with my emotions is NOT funny. I roll my eyes and pout. I want to go home now. I hate these two now.

"Well congratulations dickhead! But seriously, I want to know why you kissed me and just left me to think that maybe we could have something. You knew I was going through a lot of crap and then you just-" I start to break down. I really don't want to show my emotions to either of them. I want to be strong. But this hurts so bad. So bad. I take in a breath of air and look up to the ceiling. "I really thought that you understood the crap I had going on. It meant a lot to finally meet someone who was really like me. But then you had to make me seem 'easy' and say that you kissed me for money. What a jerk you are." I finish my speech and I inhale so much air so that I can get this emotion out of my throat. Sometimes I wonder if he's playing a game. And sometimes I wonder when he's really telling the truth.

**A/N: I typed this one last night as well but didn't post it til today. Im gone for the weekend. Be back later. School starts tues. and im pumped. K G2g!**

NEEN


	18. The last time

As I start to swallow my heart, Duncan and Trent have silenced themselves. I hear daddy and Maverick in the kitchen laughing their butts off, while I'm sitting here pouting wishing I could have the same fun. I look over to Trent's phone to see what time it is. It's 12:15 and I couldn't pray harder for Ginger to show up early. Duncan lifts his feet up to the table and puts his arms behind his head to look at me.

"What?" I ask with my arms crossed. Duncan looks me up and down and nods his head.

"Seriously, what's the deal with you? Like you're acting real stuck up." I frown at him and sigh. Guys are such idiots. Even the guy I thought I had some type of connection with. I roll my eyes and shake my head.

"Just leave me alone. I should have known you were a jerk." He suddenly grows angry and jumps out of his seat to get in my face.

"Wow you really can't say shit about that. I'm not the one who said that my own parents didn't want me!" Suddenly I find myself at my toes to get back into his face.

"And I'm not the one who plays with peoples hearts!" I shout into his face. He falls back into his seat and then he slowly inches his face towards mine. I don't pull back. Then he whispers into my face.

"And I'm not the one who lets them!" We stare hard into each others eyes and squint. And out of nowhere I leap onto him and we tussle to the ground. Trent gets out of his seat to video the scene and laugh. I put my hand into Duncan's face and hit it on the ground. He rolls over and punches me lightly in the arm. We start rolling over and over all on the deck screaming at each other.

"I hate your guts! Don't you ever kiss me again!" I smack his face into the wooden patio again he grabs my wrists.

"And don't you ever give me a kiss again!" We roll over near the diving board of their pool and kick Duncan so hard in the stomach. He leaps back from the pain to Trent's feet where he falls on top of Duncan. I get up to dust myself off and Duncan throws Trent off of him. Suddenly, like a bull, Duncan narrows his eyes and flares his nostrils. If he's ready to go again, bring it on. He runs full speed at me and forces his arms out in front of him. When he reaches me, He pulls his arms back and push us both right under the water that hovered below us. I scream loudly as we both hit the warm water. There goes another ruined dress, my makeup and hair. I feel a tug on my hair under the water and open my eyes to see Duncan with a few strips in his fist. I kick him in the side and he coughs out air. I reach to grab some air from the surface but before I can get a mouth full, my legs are grabbed from under the water. He pulls me back under and there I put him in a headlock and I hear cursing from above the water. I open my eyes up to see two figures jumping inside the water. Duncan and I are pulled away from each other immediately.

"WHAT THE HELL!" Daddy holds onto me like I'm his Barbie doll. He looks at me up and down and is surely pissed off. He frowns at me then Maverick. Duncan and fighting back against him and finally after about 2 minutes, Duncan's hands are behind his back.

"Alright you two, I think you've had enough time together." Maverick says. Daddy puts me on his hip and we exit the pool. I'm shivering and daddy is so mad that the blood boiling under his skin is being used to keep me warm. I know what he's thinking. He doesn't know who to yell at or blame it on. Duncan or me. Maverick gets out of the pool and Duncan follows. He starts to make his way back into the house with his grim face but Maverick grabs him.

"I think you owe yah girl here an apology." Maverick says. Daddy suddenly becomes hesitant and shaky. He puts me down and starts to jungle his fingers in his hand.

"Oh Mav, that's not necessary. It's obvious Courtney acts like doesn't know how to behave herself. Don't worry. I'll make sure she acts right before we come back over here ever again." Daddy smiles his grim smile. I don't know what type of idea he has on his mind to make me suffer this time, but playing the game with his best friend, it must be bad. I look up to him and Maverick thinks for a minute. Daddy keeps his smile friendly.

"Alright then, just make sure she is taught right. We don't want another brawl outside here again. And we surely don't want our kids to drown now." Maverick and daddy laugh. Duncan and I just look at each other in grieve. I can't believe daddy just took up for Duncan. I mean I'm his daughter c'mon now! What is this guy offering you to- wait… I stop to think and flashback.

_Courtney, when I say he's a **very nice man**, I mean he's a **very nice **_**_man_**

X

X

X

X

X

_I promise **he'll be very good** to you Courtney, I promise._

X

X

X

X

X

I start connecting the speeches daddy has said to me. The looks Maverick has given me. And the sucking up my daddy has done to him. It doesn't make since. Why would daddy use me? I mean he's gotten everything he's wanted! A family, a nice job and he even got a promotion. But it never occurred to me of the things that are happening are true. Is daddy doing dirty work just to have the nice things? I squint my eyes at him. If he thinks that using me is a way of getting what he wants, he has so much coming for him. Duncan questions my looks at him and I just shake my head. After a slight moment of silence, daddy open his mouth to speak.

"Well I think that Courtney and I should head back to the house. Not telling what her mother is up to." Maverick laughs and they shake hands.

"It's good to see you little bro. Come by anytime. But just make sure your little one is calmed down. Then we can really get into business." I take in a gust of air as Maverick whispers the last part of that sentence. What does he mean! Really get into business! I shake my head back and fourth and then I feel daddy's claws around my wrists. I start to shake my head harder and Daddy's tugs become harder.

"Let's GO!" He picks me up by my arm and drags me inside the house to the front door. I want to scream and cry out to someone to help me. I need someone to help me. Care for me. Not in the way that daddy does! When we finally make it to our house, he throws me to the floor and slams the front door. I start balling tears and begging him not to hurt me. My mother comes around the corner.

"What the hell-"

"Go back into our room and don't come out!" Daddy says strictly with his hand signaling her to hush. My mother obeys his demands and he finally turns around to take off his belt. He looks down to me as the tears are sprinkling from my eyes.

"Daddy PLEEEAAASEEE! I 'm sorry! It was an accident! I didn't me-" That first wipe of that belt slaps my neck and I scream. I'm still soaking wet and that belt just stings so badly. I feel it throb and then daddy is at my level.

"You get up to your room and take off all your clothes. Then you come back down here and stand against the front door! Now." I sit on the floor and start to cry harder. Daddy stands back to his feet. "I'll give you to a count of three to get you god damn room. One, Two-"

"NO!" I shout. I suddenly feel his hand pull me up from the floor and the belt tagging me ferociously ass and back. He lets me loose and starts hitting me again. I scream and cry and run up to my room immediately stripping off everything that was on me. My dress, ponytail holder, shoes, jewelry. Everything! When I finish I look myself in the mirror. There will be more marks added to the collection. I hear daddy calling my name and I walk to the door. Here we go. When I open it, he is at the bottom of the steps with that belt. The same belt he used on Charity and passed down so kindly to me. He grabs my arm when I am two steps away from him and throws me against the door. I bump my head and he shakes his head.

"I can't believe you tried to embarrass me in front of my best friend!" He acts like I did it on purpose. I start to calm my crying as the hitting marks settle into my skin. He pulls a chair from out of the kitchen and sit's a few spaces from behind me. "I mean yeah your sister died. But we have to move on! She's dead. She decided to kill herself. Not me or your mother. So don't bring your attitude to me." I feel the anger just rushing into every part of my body. I've never held anger before. Not like this. But I just want to explode on him. Charity dies because of him. Because of my mother and the shit he did to her. Not on drugs! I suddenly build myself too far up and scream. At that moment, daddy whips me in my back and I jump around in reaction. I feel like a slave being punished for running away. After a few minutes of calming down, daddy forces me to stand by the front door. We relax in silence for a while.

After a while I smell smoke. I sniff around and see him smoking a cigarette. Since when did he smoke! Getting into moms habits I see. The door bell rings and daddy looks at his watch.

"Great, she's here." He comes to the door and pushes me to hide behind it. He better not expose me to whoever is there. He dares not show his dark side. He tosses the cig outside and the smile that was suddenly on his face, has now turned upside down.

"Hello Mr. Sterling, I am Ginger. Pleased you meet you, I ju-" His had meets her face to signal her to shut up. He smacks himself in the head and shakes it.

"You have got to be kidding me!" He looks her up and down. I know Ginger must feel offended. He opens his mouth wide. "What the fuck is this! I didn't know a circus was going to enter my damn home. No way are you a friend of Courtney's!" He slams the door in her face and I run around him to re open it. I don't care if my body is expose to her! She's like my sister! And she's leaving. This is my last chance to see her face to face until she leaves. He is not messing this opportunity up! When I re open the door, his hand smacks me across the other side of the room. It's too early for this bull crap! When I get back up, I find a curling iron at my face. The red light is on and the heat is just swirling around in the air.

"I dare you to get up and answer that door again!" He says. I back away from the hot iron. I've always hated those things. So hot and my skin so sensitive. Ginger bangs back on the door for daddy to let her in. He suddenly takes the iron away from my face and tosses it to a towel that was on the back of the chair. He paces back and fourth in front of the door and finally stops.

"Fine, you want to see your weird ass friend. You got it." He opens the door again and just shakes his head. When she steps inside the door, I see her belly. It's gotten a lot bigger since last time I saw her. She has something in her hands. But her full appearance doesn't even make it inside the house, when suddenly daddy smacks her and punches her into her stomach. And then to top it off, she pushes her far from the house and starts throwing firecrackers that he's lighting up with his new cigarette, one by one. I hear Ginger screaming and crying.

"THAT'S RIGHT! AND DON'T YOU EVER COME BACK! PREGO BITCH!" He slams the door again and tells me to go to my room. I just ruined my moment. Our last moment and time we had to see each other. He just ruined everything. I run to my room and cry my eyes out. I hop into my bathroom and break every mirror in sight. I hate my life. I hate my parents. But most of all.. I HATE MY DAD! After every mirror is damaged inside my room, I sit in the middle of my floor bare naked with my diary. This secret is going to fill the thing up.

**A/N: Yeshh! I updated. And I didn't do two homework assignments but hey what's study skills for! I got some shoutouts! ****CRYBABY**** and ****angelkenzie022**** thank you so much for lovin this story and contributing your thoughts. ****StarGazer****, I'm thinking of a way to get there.. Just give it time.. And ****Abby09**** im sorry but no habla espanol. Lmao. So if you can read this story, I know you can translate that. Lol. Pweeezzz lol. Thank you! ****TaylorKlass ****do yyoo thangg I appreciate your msg. Also ppl, someone *cough* wanted to do a one shot and I gladly assured it was okay. IF this story inspires you to do the same… do it! Anything when it comes to abuse! Or love.. Or whatever reason you love this story xD. KK reviewwww pwezzz!**

**NEEN**


	19. It's your call

I feel a breeze of calm warm air surrounding my body. I'm laying on my floor passed out. Everything is so blurry. I've been crying but this wind, this air is lifting me up. So high. It's making me feel free. Like nothing has harmed me. I sit up feeling like my room is spinning. I inhale the fresh air that smells so sweet. This moment is too good to believe, I have to close my eyes. My hair is floating in all kinds of directions. Suddenly, I open my eyes and see a bright light shinning from my balcony. I squint to see what it is. So bright but yet calm and sweet. Then a figure is pointed out with her arms crossed and eyes closed. She looks so peaceful at rest. Like she's so happy to be where she is. Like a goddess. Then as she moves closer to me floating, I start to see her features. Her skin is so smooth. Golden brown with absolutely no flaws. That can't be..

"CHARITY!" I scream and try to reach out to her. I want to feel her so bad, he touch, her care, her love. Her eyes open sudden and look around urgent. She starts to try to get out of the thing that has her strapped in. It's all white and the shackles that are holding her down, won't let her get up! I reach out for her again but then I feel the same shackles around my feet and wrists. This can't be real, it has to be a fake.

"CHARITY!" I shout again She looks up and away from me. "Where are you looking at! I'm right in front of you!" I shout. She keeps trying to get out of the things she under, the things she's in.

"Courtney! I can't see you! Courtney stay safe!" The shackles forcefully pull her back against the cushion that lies under her. She can't move.

"Charity please where are you! Help me!" The next reaction is unexpected. She starts to shake her head crazily and scream. Her body is twitching. Like she has developed a case of Turrets.

"NO! NO! STOP! PLEASE! I JUST WANT TO SEE HER!" The thing she is under starts rocking and out of response, I jump trying to get to her noticing that my shackles are no longer on. When look below me, I see darkness. Nothing but pure darkness. Charity and I both scream at the top of our lungs as I fall to my death and she returns to hers.

I take a deep breath and wake up in a cold sweat. It was just a dream. I'm still laying in the middle of the floor. It's late out and the moon shines inside my room. All of my mirrors are shattered, along with the only thing I had confidence in, my heart. I drop my head and see I still have no clothes on. I decide to take a long shower and sit out on my balcony. I swear I saw charity. She looks to beautiful. I wish my skin was as glossy and flawless as hers. But sadly, it's not. When I stare up into the clouds, I pray. I pray for better parents, a better life, and a bright future.

"Please please please god. I haven't been a selfish person." I start to whisper. "But I've always been a good girl. Why am I getting this treatment and why won't you take it away? Sometimes I just wish you would really do your job and stop getting my hopes up." I shake my head and start to think. That was kinda harsh but I am. Everyone says that he answers your prayers, but for some reason I feel like mine may be too hard for him. I sigh and start to play with the railing. I hear someone whistle and I look down in the dark trying to find them. A green Mohawk appears at our fence and I frown at him.

"Why don't you just leave me alone." He chuckles to himself and shakes his head.

"I should, but I choose not to. Can I come up?" I squint my eyes at him and give him a disapproving look but only a guy like him would think that's a yes. Therefore, he jumps my fence in one leap and runs through my backyard. I hear him climbing and muttering curse words about the climb. When he finally makes it to my appearance, I flare my nostrils.

"Hi beautiful." He says. I fold my arms and open my mouth to speak.

"I didn't say you could come up idiot! I gave you a rude look. Why do you think it's an entrance?" He shrugs his shoulders and finally makes it over the railing. He sits down leaning against it and looks at me.

"I'm sorry, but ugly features always seem sexy from you." I lift him a brow and we both laugh in unison.

"You're lame." I giggle. I stare back out into the clouds and moon. Duncan watches me and decides to start our conversation out.

"So um, why wasn't I invited to your party earlier?" I look at him in flinch back. He thought there was a party going on? He can't be serious!

"Are you kidding me? That was no party. That was a wake up call from hell." Duncan sits back and laughs casually. I find it offensive. But then I pull the pole up my butt out to laugh back. I guess I am acting kinda bitchy but I mean, I didn't get to see Ginger. It would hurt so badly if her baby died. I slump down and Duncan comes closer to me.

"So what happened?" He asks. I look at him like do you really think that I'm going to trust you after what we went through today. Plus he was the reason why I got into so much trouble.

"Like I would tell you." He shrugs his shoulders and smirks.

"I'm just trying to help you vent everything that happened. It's not good to keep all that 'stuff' in your system. But if you don't want to tell me, ok." He's trying to make me feel like I really need him. I've made it this far in life, I don't need anyone to help me the rest of the way. I don't respond back to him. After a few moments, in silence he sighs and opens his mouth to speak.

"I'm sorry Princess." The lightest butterflies tickle my inner tummy. Tickle my tummy so bad that it hurts. I'm surprised he apologized. I blush and smile. The wind blows smoothly and I feel Duncan's hand on mine. "I am." I nod to him and blush again.

"Thank you." We stare into each others eyes and I feel so open. Like the moment we had under the bridge when it rained. But everything went downhill from there. I don't want to play with emotions but my heart is racing. I like Duncan but I can't trust him. Not after the bet. Not after what he said to his friends.

"So, what happened?" He asks the question again like after his apology is going to make me change my mind.

"I don't trust you Duncan, why don't you get that?" He frowns and lifts his brow.

"Why not? I mean I apologized to you." I hate when guys think that just because they apologize that means that everything is all good and things can start back where they left off.

"Yeah you apologized and I felt something for it but, that doesn't change what you said. You called me easy and fought me in your pool today!" I hope he doesn't have a temper. I really hope he doesn't. But I don't know what else to say. He gets up and starts to leave but I stand up and grab his leg. "Please don't cut me off Duncan, I just need to be able to trust you again. You did this, not me." He shrugs his shoulders.

"Your call," is all he says. He jumps down from my balcony and lands on the ground below. When he disappears, I go back inside my room. I hope what I said, he takes to heart and really thinks about it. When I'm about to lay back down, I see a page of my diary opened. I pull it out and look at it. In thick bubble letters are: _CourtneyXDuncan forever. CharityXGinger forever. _Underneath each couple is my drawing. Me and Duncan smiling under the bridge holding hands. Charity and Ginger in her casket with her newborn baby. I wipe a tear from my face. I close it and place it in my closet. It's completely full. I filled it up.

**X**

**X**

**X**

**X**

**X**

**3 **

**years **

**later..**

**X**

**X**

**X**

**X**

**X**

I awake to hear banging on my balcony door. I jump up to see what time it is. 9:58 A.M. I throw my covers across the room and run to the door. It's now covered with long black draperies. When I slide them back, I see Duncan and Trent's face sticking their tongue out at me. I frown at them and slide my door open.

"You two are such jerks! I thought there was an emergency happening here!" I hit them both in the arm. They laugh extremely loud and I roll my eyes. "I hate you two." They come over to me and we all give each other a hug. "Don't ever do it again!"

"Yes princess." I smile to them and then I hear Trent's phone ring. He answers it and fold his arms over.

"Hey babe." Must be Gwen. They finally settled their issues after our 7th grade year. It was so cute. Duncan and I still have yet to be together. We've been pretty close though. Ever since he's noticed my balcony, he always find himself up in it, scaring the crap out of me. Daddy still doesn't know that I have these two guys up in my room all the time. We used to hate each other, but who knew that we'd become like best friends. Trent hangs his phone up and we all sit together on my balcony. Duncan and I hold hands while Trent leans back against the railing.

"Gwen wants to come over later." He says. I nod my head.

"Where? My house or yours?" He yawns and stretches.

"She wants to come over mine really. I sure you a Duncan want some time 'alone'." He laughs to himself and Duncan punches him in the arm.

"Chill man, you know we ain't together." I sigh at his comment and let go of his hand to play with my long hair. It's grown down to my new boobs. Yes they are new. I didn't start wearing bra's until last year.

I'm 14 years old now and everything is so new to me. My height has increased. I'm 5'6" and 120 lbs. I'm tall but not too skinny. I'm starting to develop curves in my hips and daddy finds them very attractive. As a matter of fact, I think my mother has been exercising. She's gained a lot of weight and I don't remember the last time her and daddy have had sex. He's too busy trying to make it into my room late at night. But I'm so proud of myself that I learned how to lock the door and hide. Duncan and Trent's dad has been pretty mellow. He comes over every once and a while but he hasn't been given me those weird stares like he did when I was younger. He thinks I have matured beautifully. Trent, Duncan and I are all freshman at Newburg High. It's late fall and winter is coming up slowly.

"So did you do Henchman's homework?" I ask still twirling my brown hair between my fingers. Trent and Duncan both shrug.

"He's a dick like he yelled at our class because we didn't do the night before lasts homework. But no one knew what it was and he was like," Trent gets up and gets in his Mr. Henchman mode, "Well, it's your responsibility to look on the board." He wrinkles his nose like Henchman does like he smells something bad. "I don't have your eyes." Duncan and I crack up laughing.

"You really area douche Trent." I says laughing. I hear a knock on my door and I run to go answer it, closing my balcony door behind me. I open the door and daddy appears. He looks like he is going out on a hot date or something. His hair is slicked back and wearing an expensive suit. I lean against my door frame.

"Yes dad." I answer. He frowns at me then gives me this boring expression.

"It's dad_dy_." He replies back. I nod my head and he fold his arms over. "I'm going out for a little while. I don't know how long I will be so feed yourself. Your mother is staying here but is under the weather. So don't you go anywhere." I cough. Translation: I'm going to go to a hoe's house and make love to her and won't be back til later next morning. My mother is going to follow you as soon as you leave. I nod my head and smile at him.

"Yes daddy. I will stay here and try to help my mother." He smiles to me and kisses my forehead.

"That's my angel. Now Maverick might stop by later on just to check on you. But I'm sure he won't visit long. So yeah." He yells at he leave through the front door. Why does maverick need to come over? I'm not 11 anymore. I close my room door and ponder. Trent and Duncan come inside my room after they hear me close my door.

"What happened?" Duncan asks. He sees the worry I have in my face and is concerned. I haven't fully trusted him yet. I watch what I say to him and how I say it. He still doesn't know a lot about me. He knows I'm holding back but for some reason, he still see's that I'm an amazing girl.

"Nothing, my dad just said that he's leaving so-" I hear another knock on my door and Trent and Duncan escape my room to the balcony. I open my door once the close is clear. And who else would it be than my mother.

"I know David just left. But um, I'm about to go out and get me a little exercise." Translation: Ima go find the bitch he's sleepin wit and when I find him I'm going to fuck his ass up. I smile to her too and put my hand on her shoulder.

"Well um, have fun with that." My mother has calmed her cursing down a lot. She isn't much of a bitch anymore but she's now focused on daddy. He hasn't raped me in a while so she knows he's out finding other meat to beat. She just won't admit it. They know I've grown up a lot and not stupid. She turns to go down the steps and exit the house. I leave my door open and call for Trent and Duncan to come inside. They come inside and Gwen pops in. I smile shocked to see her hug her tightly.

"Hey!" I pull her away after a minute long hug and Trent comes to her side and puts his arm around her.

"She is a beast. She climbed up into your balcony too." Trent says smiling to his girl. Duncan rolls his eyes and comes to my side to hug me and kiss my forehead. "Well um we gotta go. We're going to ride go-carts with LeShawna and DJ and a few others downtown. So um sorry you can't join. Gwen just brought it up." I smile understanding and throw my hand at him.

"No worries. I gotta stay here anyway. Watch the house." The room becomes silent and we just look at each other.

"Well um can we exit somewhere else besides the balcony?" Gwen humorously point out. We all laugh and I say yes. I lead them to the front door and they leave.

"Bye guys! Have fun!" I shout waving my hand. I stand out on the porch watching them walk outside the suburb to the bus stop. I hear a lawnmower stop and I look to the right. It's Maverick out doing yard work. He has this evil look in his eye. When he makes eye contact with me, I feel like the world just exploded on my head. I do a light wave as he looks me up and down. When he's done, he winks at me and starts his mower again.

X

X

X

X

X

_I promise __**he'll be very good**__ to you__ Courtney, I promise._

**A/N: I think that I might do two different endings. I don't know. I don't want the story to feel rushed but idk if it seems like it or not. So can you all contribute saying whether it's rushed or not. I hope I went through age change the right way. But don't like be rude and review something bitchy, just be honest.. She's still kinda young. Freshmen are young.. I think but yeah. I got some shoutouts. Um Lime GreenBookWorm- you will just have to wait and see if Trent gets abused. It's a secret still whether he does or not. Truths will start to come out that are shocking but only so much per chp. And thank you for your review xD. CRYBABY pleeassee give me time. I can't update everyday like I did. School is back and so is school work. So im going to do my best but I promise an update each week. I think is funny how everyone who reviewed last chp. Was speechless. I mean I would have reacted the same way. CutiePie973 I know exactly what you mean, that's why I chose to do a story like this as well. But everyone thanks. I'm so happy I hit the 100 marker. XD But I couldn't have done it without you all. **

**NEEN**


	20. He's watching me

The words of a true liar. My dad, David Sterling. When I walk back into the house, I head back upstairs into room. When I am about to lay back on my bed, I hear the doorbell ring. I frown and look behind me. I was just downstairs. I didn't see anyone near my house that I knew. I exit my room again and jog down the steps. But before I open the door, I look through the peep hole. I see a sweaty guy with a gray shirt on that has the salt from his body dried up on his shirt. His pants are jeans with holes in them and he looks up into the hole and knocks again. Maverick. I turn away from the peek hole and look at the bathroom. Why is he here? I mean he knows I'm alone. Or maybe that's why he is over here. Because I'm alone. I hear him bang harder on the door and then mutter curse words. I don't want to answer it. I don't trust him. I turn back to look at the door and slowly back away. I hear him swear very loudly and through our windows, I watch him try to find a way to the back yard. I got to hide.

I can't go into my room. I think he knows about my balcony. Can't go in the kitchen, he'll see me through the back door. And I defiantly can't go in the living room. There's no where to hide in there. Finally, I decide to hide in my parents room. When I get inside, I see there room is a mess. Nothing is put away and the bed is not made. Someone has been sleeping on the floor. I make a decision to hide under their bed. Suddenly, I hear a door creak open and I rush under the bed. He closes the door softly and I hear his boots on the tile kitchen floor.

"Courtney? Sweetheart? Ya here? It's Maverick. I just came to check on yah." He says with this chill in his voice. My heart rate has increased rapidly. My breathing is eccentric. When I hear him coming from my room 5 minutes later, I also hear a car pull up in the drive way. I smile with excitement! Someone is here to save me! I hear Maverick's footsteps running back through the kitchen to the door. It's slams and I hear the door bell ring. I crawl from under the bed and run immediately to the door. I open it and there she is. The CPS lady I haven't seen in a couple of years. I give her a quick hug and invite her in. When I peep my head back outside the door, I see Maverick looking directly at me with these big eyes and flared nostrils. He zips his fly up and winks at me. I slam the door and step away from it. Cheryl watches my funny behavior and touches my shoulder.

"What's out there?" She asks urgent. Her eyes are serious and her face is hard.

"No one. Just no one." I answer. Her facial expression becomes worried and she bows her head.

"It's been a very long time since we have last seen each other dear, and my have you grown!" I smile to her and nod my head in agreement.

"Yeah I have. And I don't dress up like I use to. It's like my parents are finally letting me grow up. It feels great!" Cheryl smiles and then her smile fades after a minutes.

"Lets go sit." I lead her in the kitchen and I grab her a cup of water. "Thank you." She says taking a sip then looking inside of it. I watch her as I sit across from her.

"Soooo, um.." I stop and she sighs.

"Do you still think about your sister Courtney?" I raise my brows after her question is out. Of course I still think about her, I miss her. But she's gone and I had to let go. I will see her again. Maybe not soon, but I will.

"Yeah I do. I miss her a lot. But yah know, I gotta move on. Whatever happened happened. I had no power. I wish I could have known how she passed but as long as she's in my heart, it doesn't matter." Cheryl smiles very big to me and pats my hand.

"You have grown wise and strong little Courtney. You are in high school now correct?" I smile back to her and nod my head.

"Yes and I like my school." She take out a pen and a notepad and jots down everything I am saying again. I wonder why. She does this every time we meet.

"How have your parents been treating you? Your skin looks very nice actually, it's like you never had a scar on you." I suddenly get out of my seat and start pacing with my hands in thinking position. How does she know? Or is she putting me in a trap so I confess. I can't confess. Not any secrets. Not even to her.

"Um excuse me?" I say. I frown to her and she chuckles under her breath.

"It's okay Courtney, you have gotten older. You can tell me the tru-"

"The truth!" I feel a rise in my anger. I can't tell anyone the truth! Not even Duncan so why would I tell her! "I have told you _'the truth' _there's nothing else to know. My parents were strict when Charity and I were growing up! That's it! And now you can leave." I take her cup of water and dump it in the sink. I snatcher her pen and pad from her hands and throw them in her bag. I even help her ass up! I pull her to my door and open it.

"Courtney, I was just trying to help yo-." She says in a calm voice. My eyes still read bullshit.

"_Trying _to help me? If you could flash back into the past and get a clue, you'd know that I'm not the one who needs a fuckin help." I slam the door on her and run up to my room to write a few pages.

**1 hour later**

I hear the front door close and the house phone ring. I pick my head up from my diary and look at my Hello Kitty clock, 9:45 P.M. I slept for that long! I hear my name being called from downstairs and I get up to stretch and open my front door. It's my mother. She's brought some dinner home. When I meet her in the kitchen, she is talking on the phone. Her eyes are red and she looks a mess.

"Mom are you-"She puts her hand in my face and shakes her head. I frown to her and shrug my shoulders.

"OoooKKAayyy", I grab a Togo box from Captain D's and sit at the table. My mother hangs up the phone and sighs. I watch her as she picks through her food and sits across from me. "So um how was exercising?" I ask chewing on some Shrimp. She looks up at me and rolls her eyes.

"Don't worry about it. You just eat. You got school tomorrow." I roll my eyes and I'm not even hungry anymore. I leave it on the table and go back into my room. "AND YOU NEED TO FIND A BETTER HOBBY THAN SITTIN IN YO DAMN ROOM ALL FUCKKIN DAY!" I slam my bedroom door and lay across my bed. I wonder if she found daddy in bed with another girl. I smirk. At least it's not me. I fall asleep again and wait for school the next day.

**Lunch**

Daddy didn't show up this morning either. My mother was up all last night crying and keeping my up. Duncan and Trent never came back to my house last night and I don't have any classes with them. I find my clan at lunch in the courtyard and jog to them. It's DJ, Geoff, Katie, her new bestie Sadie, Justin, new girl Bridgette, the best basketball player Tyler and cheerleader Lindsay. I see LeShawna, Gwen, Duncan and Trent are absent. When I sit beside DJ, he looks away from me and shake his head. He tries to talk to Tyler about the basketball team and I frown.

"Hey DJ." I tap his shoulder once and wait patiently for him to turn around. But he doesn't, he just continues to yap his lips to Tyler. I tap his shoulder again and he finally looks at me

"What?" He says. I jump back and look at him. What the heck is up his butt? He looks at me like I'm slow and I roll my eyes.

"I don't know what your issue is but where is everyone else.. Well I mean-"

"You mean Duncan…" DJ shakes his head and chuckles to himself. He looks back at me and lifts a brow. "I like how you're still after him even after he leaves you. You sure don't give up." I frown at him confused. He turns back to look at Tyler but I grab his arm so he is looking at me again.

"Excuse me! We weren't together in the first place. We're just cool. But quit being a jerk and tell me where-" When DJ points in the direction he's in, I turn my head to see him and Heather kissing. I never liked that bitch! Never! She pretty much looks the same except for her boob and nose job. Every guy has had a turn with the whore but I never imagined Duncan with her. They meet us and Duncan just ignores me. Like I'm not even here! This is the second time he's done this. And he wonder's why I don't trust him. He's so flip floppy.

"What's up man?" Everyone says hi to the new couple and they sit beside DJ. I look down on myself and feel myself about to start crying. What happened! I just saw him yesterday and everything was good. Nobody here is talking to me. Everyone hated Heather and talked to me but its opposite today. Totally opposite. I get up from my clan which I thought were my friends. But its obvious, they're not. I pick up my backpack and lunch and walk back into the building. I don't understand. What did I do?

**A/N: Roundddd TWO coming up! REVIEW!**


	21. This is what I call the end

**A/N: I forgot to answer Q last chp. Maverick is Trent's biological father. Duncan was the one who got adopted. But Trent's mom.. Aww forget it.. You'll know everything next chapter.. The secrets will come out. And everyone wants to know if Duncan knows about Courtney's abuse? He knows something is going on but he wants her to tell him. He want's her to open up to him but she won't because she doesn't trust him. K read and revieww.! And WARNING: chp. Is kinda intense..**

Nobody came to pick me up from school. I don't ride the bus anymore and now I have to walk home. I don't feel safe walking home alone. Especially if Maverick is out cutting the grass or something. I think he knows I know what he's trying to do. And whatever it is, is not going to work. Right now it's 3:57 P.M. and I'm sure my mother is wondering where the heck I am. The sun is shining but it's kinda chilly. My hair is floating in the air and I wish I could just levitate into it. I am now passing by the bridge. My bridge. The bridge that Duncan and I shared our first kiss at. Our moment that I thought was so sweet. But to him, I guess it wasn't. He still takes it as a joke even though I don't think it's funny.

I decide to take a quick break and sit under it. When I start to reach the bottom, I hear someone complaining? No.. moaning? I walk closer to the sound to see the last thing I ever had on my mind. I see a green Mohawk on top of a black haired chick. I drop all of my books, backpack, everything! They are both completely nude and covered in sweat. Duncan looks up to me with his eyes rolling back but then suddenly grow big. He stops what he's doing and looks at me. I can feel my lungs collapsing. I feel my air being blocked. My emotions, again, are starting to come out. The girl under him asks what he's doing and she looks in his direction to see me. She curses loudly and she pushes him off of her. I pick up all of my things and back away. I'm done. We are completely done.

"WAIT! COURTNEY! WAIT!" His voice is urgent but I speed walk away. I cannot believe he was fucking Heather. All this time he's been messing around with her! This entire time I thought him and me had something special! We didn't! That idiot! At a nearby corner, I throw my books down and beat my fist into the brick building. Whyyy? I start crying and I hear footsteps running. When he passes me by, he see's me and walks over to me. He tries to give me a hug but I push him back and slap the hell out of him.

"J-jj-Just get away from me!" His face is torn up, I feel him about to start to get upset. I just hate him right now. I have no sympathy for him.

"P-p-Prin-c-cess please.." I beat on his chest and smack him again. He tires to hold me again but I knee him in the stomach.

"No Duncan!" I wipe the tears from my face. "No. Just go. I don't want to have anything to do with you again. You have cut me so deep. So deep. No even your touch can heal me." I grab my things again and start to walk off. He grabs my wrist and I smack him down to the ground. He looks up at me, his red cheeks and sad face. I squint and narrow my eyes.

"I hope you're satisfied because this time, this time!" I look him dead in the eyes. "This is your call." I flare my nostrils and stomp off. Nobody is going to take advantage of me. Nobody. I've grown up from that. No more. No more!

When I finally get home 10 minutes later, I see nobody is here. I slam the front door, drop my bag and go to the restroom. When I come out, I jog up the steps and open my closed door. When I close it behind me, my balcony door is open. I lift a brow and walk by it and out of nowhere, someone leaps from my bathroom door and tackles me on my bed. They pull my head up and hold my neck. They have a knife to my throat and suddenly another figure appears from beside my bed. Daddy.

"Well, sweetheart. It seems that you have disappointed me." His voice is cold and hard. He's not even trying to get this dude off my back or move the knife that is just centimeters from my throat. He's just adding to it. I feel like I'm being jumped. "Sometimes, I really think you want to die just like your sister did." I lift my brows shocked. I can't believe he just said that! So he did have something to do with it.

"You killed her didn't you?" I ask. The knife comes closer to my throat and the guy on top of me tells me to shut the fuck up. Daddy out of nowhere smacks me and I bit my lip.

"Don't you speak unless I ask you to." His hands are behind his back. He tells the guy behind me to lift me up and handcuff my wrists. Whatever is about to happen, I'm scared for my life. Scared for my soul. I don't know what to do. After the guy handcuffs me, he comes around me to expose himself. Maverick. I open my mouth shocked and the two stand together. "I told you yesterday that Maverick was coming over, didn't I?" That's a rhetorical question. Daddy lifts a brow and then laughs to myself. "And yet you embarrass me once again. You see, this is not only my best friend. This is also my boss, and if I can't be a good and honest worker to him, then what right does he to me? You understand what I'm saying sweetheart?" Daddy pulls out a long pair of scissors and rushes over to me. He pushes me down on my knees and I fall to the floor. He then pulls my hair roughly into his hands and slices the scissors through it. I start crying and begging him to stop.

"PLEASSEE DADDDYY! PLEEASEE!" He keeps going until most of it is in his hands. When he finishes, the throws it in my face.

"Now, Maverick, it's your turn. Courtney, I didn't want to do this, but you chose to." Maverick walks over to me and picks me up over his shoulder. He throws me on my bed and daddy stands my the balcony door to watch. Maverick forces my pants off and throws my shirt over my head. I start screaming and daddy smacks me in my face.

"SHUT UP! YOU WANTED THIS SO TAKE IT!" He screams. I don't even want to watch Maverick. I can't. I feel something hard go inside of me and I shout out and start crying harder.

"PL-PleASE! MA-VvERICK STOPPP!" I feel him punch me in my stomach and I flinch upwards but then daddy grabs my arms and throws me back. With every thrust, I get hit as well. Daddy is smacking me and punching me in my face while Maverick is moaning and fucking me so hard I know I'm bleeding! I then feel a pillow on my face causing me to not breathe and I shout in it. When Maverick finishes, I feel him release and I stop crying. I stop breathing and close my eyes. I stop thinking and hearing. And last, I stop caring.

**1 week later**

I haven't been to school in two weeks. I haven't talked to any of my old friends. But I have been writing. I stay in my room and write all day. The only people who come in is daddy and Maverick. I don't lock my doors anymore. And while I'm sleeping late at night, they sometimes come in and both have sexual intercourse with me at the same time. I thought I was growing up and leaving the past behind, but its evident, it just came back. It's Tuesday night and right now, I am praying that no one comes in my room tonight. I'm not in the mood and my stomach has been killing me. My hair is cut into a bob and super short. I hate it but I have to deal with it. I've been sick for the past couple of days and I can't stop throwing up. No matter how much medicine I take, I can't.

I'm almost finished with this diary. It'll be completed by tonight hopefully. I really want to get this published. Well both of them. I get up to go to my closet. I find my other diary. I look at some drawings I did of my sister and I, Duncan and I. Just some rough sketches. When I was younger, I use to draw whatever I dreamed. But I don't anymore. And I don't know why. I guess the sex and my emotions have gotten to me. The CPS lady's card falls out of my diary and I look at it. Cheryl. I shake my head. I hear someone knock on my balcony door and I look at it. I quickly stuff the card in my pocket and stand. If it were Maverick, he would have just came inside by now and attacked me. But it's not. I open my door and there he is. Duncan with his new highlighted Mohawk. I don't invite him in.

"Hey, it's been a minute." I don't respond to him. I don't say one word. Maverick told me not to speak to him and daddy told me to never see him. They know about him coming up to my room. They about everything. They've spied on me ever since we moved here. Duncan nods his head and bites on his lip. "So um you plan on coming back to school any time soon?" I just keep staring at him with no emotion in my face. Why does it matter if I do? He has Heather now. And nobody likes me. He finally grows tired of my silence and frowns.

"Fine, I just came up here to see about you. You're lucky someone did! And you would take it for granted! So you can take my finger and shove it somewhere tight!" He walks away and gets ready to jump over my balcony. He stops to look back at me again, my feelings are hurt but at this point, I could careless. "You know, we used to have something but you not trusting me go to me. I guess you'll never forgive me." I lift and brow and shake my head. I don't even say anything back. I just walk back into my room and close my door quietly. Duncan watches as I do and shakes his head. As I turn to head back to my closet, I hear my door open again and I see tears strolling down his cheek. He walks over to me and pick me up and kisses me on my lips. I push him away and he fights back.

"WHY CAN'T WE JUST BE TOGETHER!" He shouts grabbing my arms and yanking them. I fight back feeling like I'm about to throw up but I have to speak up for myself now. I have to.

"STOP DUNCAN! STOP!" He lets me go and starts pacing back and fourth in my room. "Just leave! You have to! I can't be anything to you anymore! You chose this! Not me! You did this to us!" I yell trying to make my point. He's very upset. But so am I. He hasn't had to go through the shit I've had to. He doesn't even know what's happened. I hear daddy coming up my steps. Duncan and I look at my door. I open my eyes shocked and push him out of my balcony door. I feel the rush of the tears gliding down my face. "Duncan please!" I cry. "You have to go!" He flares his nostrils again and prepares to jump. "Pleassee you don't know what he'll do to me!" The tears are rushing down like the ocean.

"I… love you Princess." I choke on my breath when he says that. But I didn't have the time to react when daddy comes behind me and grabs me around my neck. Duncan leaps on him but daddy has a knife in his hand. He stabs Duncan in the chest and he cries out in pain. I elbow daddy in the stomach and he falls back. The blade is in Duncan and I pull it out.

"C'mon Duncan, we gotta go! C'mon!" Daddy tries to get up while Duncan and I both jump my balcony and land on the ground. Duncan's phone flies on the ground and he screams out in pain from his wound. I volunteer to get his phone. When I open it, I see multiple texts from Heather. I look back at him crying out in pain and back at the phone. Fuck Heather, I gotta save him. I quickly open a new message and type. When I finish, I close his phone and look up to the sky.

"Lord, hear my prayer." I then throw his phone so far from the house that it flies in the air. I know this is the end. I know it. My adrenaline is pumping and it's time to go.

**A/N: ENDING IS NEXT CHAPTER! I really hope everyone loved his story and passes it on. I've been thinking about an alternate ending but I won't do it. I want to do a big shout to everyone who stayed with from beginning to end and I appreciate the love. What do you think will happen next chapter? The last chapter? I might try to write another story that has to with drugs. Like idk Duncan being addicted to drugs and gone to rehab or something.. Idk.. Give me some ideas tho. I love writing anything deep. Sooo yeah. Thank you!**

-NEEN


	22. Restricted

My insides are burning and head is throbbing. So much is on my mind! So much I can't take! So much I can't deal with all in one night. My feet are at a fast pace, jumping fences and holding onto Duncan at the same time. It's getting real late, but I know daddy is out to find me. The search is on! Duncan is panting hard beside me. How deep did the blade go? It wasn't long but cut deep enough for him to be bleeding this bad? I'm so worried for my life, our life. Both Duncan and I have had shitty lives. But it's never bothered me how he hasn't introduced me into his. Never has he stopped to talk to me about how he grew up or how he got into the adoption home. I shake my head frantically. That's not important right now! I've got to find a place for us to hide out in. We come to a slow when we reach the exit of the suburb. I look back and fourth trying to think of a place to go.

"Shit SHIT SHIITT!" I shout in disgust. It's over! He's won. Yet again. Duncan grabs my wrist and looks up into my eyes.

"Don't give up princess. I know a place we can hide out til morning." I shake my head and start to feel the tears building up on my face.

"DON'T YOU SEE! Duncan it's over! I'm murdered after this! Running away from home! Disobeying daddy! And being with you! It's over! All over…" I sink to the hard concrete but Duncan finds the strength to stand tall. He takes in a deep breath and shakes his head.

"C'mon Princess, we gotta go somewhere! At least in a bush or something!" I don't move. I just want to die and start all over. I want to start from birth when I was a baby and sexual child abuse was never in place. I want to start when my parent's had a real relationship and daddy stayed home most of the time to spend time with us. I want my sister back! I want to be with her so badly. Duncan pulls my arm up and swoops me into his. "Princess, you've got to find that inner strength. I know we can make it, together. We're out here in the open! Now c'mon, you wanted this. So are you in or out?" Hearing Duncan give me motivation makes my tummy boil. But he's right. Time's not up yet and daddy isn't out yet. The game isn't over. I turn my head to look up into Duncan's beautiful teal eyes.

"Lets go." Duncan drops me to the ground and we are once again on foot.

It's been two hours and Duncan finally found the place he was looking for. It's an abandoned barn too many miles away for me to remember how long we've been walking. I'm physically tired and hungry. My hair is fluffy and damp from the sweat my scalp has released. My clothes are also somewhat sloppy. But I could careless about my appearance. Duncan's wound has stopped bleeding for the moment, he wrapped a garbage bag around his torso. We haven't talked much, not much at all. His head is trailing down and his facial expression is odd. When we are about 10 feet from the barn, Duncan finally opens his mouth to speak.

"Courtney, I gotta tell you something." I stop walking in the tall grass to watch the back of his head. When he hears that my footsteps have stopped, he turns around to see my weird shaped figure. He frowns and lifts a brow.

"I didn't notice how much weight you've gained, not to be rude but-"

"I know." I respond to him. I have gotten kinda big. But I promise I haven't eaten much. I've been very sick though. I've been throwing up like crazy! Duncan comes closer to me and looks into my brown eyes.

"We really have a lot to talk about." I nod my head and we continue through the tall grass to the barn. From far back it looks a wreck, but up close it actually looks somewhat nice. Duncan opens the squeaky door and I come inside to look around. It's empty. When Duncan seals the door, he motions his neck for me to follow.

"This way." I hear the outdoors noises as we get closer to the other end of the barn.

"Where exactly are we going?" Duncan doesn't answer. When he opens the other end of the barn door, we inter inside a very small cottage. I climb up the wooden steps and stand center of the room. Duncan locks the door and stands in front of it. He watches as I look around the room.

"What is this?" I ask amazed. Duncan sighs and looks down.

"This is um.. This is my home." His home? But I thought he lived with Maverick and Trent? How can this be his home? I turn to look at his face. He looks sad again. Something really is bothering him. I walk over to him but my approach makes him walk away.

"We will talk in a minute. I'm going to get us some snacks. Just chill in here for a few." Duncan walks off and I sit in a tiny rocking chair. My stomach growls fiercely and I pat it. It's gotten harder and grown bigger. I don't understand what's going on. Am I really sick or is something just really wrong with me? When Duncan comes back into the room, he sees my shirt is up and watching me rub my belly. He frowns and flares his nostrils at the sight. I immediately pull my shirt down and sit up in the chair. He continues to walk with a tray of hot dogs and chips.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable." He ignores my statement and decides to start our conversation awkward.

"You're pregnant aren't you Courtney?" The question stabs me in and outside my chest. How could he ask such a thing! Why would he think that I was pregnant! I haven't had unprotect- I start having flashbacks of the days daddy and Maverick coming into my room. They didn't just have sex with me for the hell of it, one of them got me pregnant. That explains my throwing up actions that have been happening! I try not to picture the day Mav came into my room and fucked me from behind. How he blind folded my eyes and jabbed me so hard inside my feminine tender area. How he didn't care and loved my reactions. Duncan tries to eat but throws his food across the room window. I awake from my horrible nightmare to see a red faced Duncan. I scramble to the floor to meet his body.

"Please Duncan, I can't do anything about it now. I didn't even know I was til now." Duncan looks up to me with his red eyes and flares his nostrils at me.

"You liked it didn't you?" I slowly back away from him. His voice is hoarse and dark. What is going on! First he was all about trying to keep me safe, now I feel he wants to throw me in with the dogs! I didn't plan this! It wasn't my fault! I find my right hand instantly slap his red cheek and I start to let the tears glide from my eyes. I never chose this path. I never gave Maverick the choice to give me a baby. I never had any options. Never. I get up onto my feet and watch as Duncan rubs his cheek.

"You don't know what I've been through and what has happened! So before you judge me, I believe you should choose your words wisely." Duncan looks at my stomach then at me. He stands up to his feet and walks to my face.

"Neither do you! So why don't you tell me!" He demands. As the tears glide down my face, I don't know what to say. There's so much to tell, but I can't. So many secrets, so many memories so many…. It hurts. I bite on my bottom lip and start to whimper. I can't do this. I just can't do this. It's too much pressure and Duncan isn't ready to hear it. He's not ready to hear my secrets, he's not ready to understand my life. And he definitely not ready to face my fears. Finally, I give in and tell my story.

"Do you know what it feels like to come into a house everyday and be raped by your own father!" My voice is hard and cold. I want him to feel my heart. I want him to see the shit I've come from, see the shit I've survived through. I want it to hurt him as much as it's hurt me. "To get beaten and whipped to the flesh! The Bone! Watching the blood travel down my silk skin. Opening wounds that have been buried, reopened and splatter onto the floor for me to clean up!" My eyes are burning red and the steam inside my heart is easing outside my pores. I hate remembering the scenes that play back inside my mind but yet, the pain makes me feel so strong. "I remember the day I came home from school and daddy was arguing with mom. He smacked her and burned the skin off of her arm. She screamed when the fire made contact with her. I watched at the doorway as daddy killed my mothers sinking heart. I watched him torture her until the blood on her flesh sizzled with regret. Daddy pulled the curling iron off her arm and then turned to me. He told me he was teaching mommy a lesson and for me not to worry. I didn't shed a tear, I didn't understand what was happening. Later that day, he found his way into Charity's room. I heard the beating on the wall. The squeaking of her bed. But I never questioned what was going on. It wasn't until I was 10 I was introduced into the family behavior. Mom no longer was nice, Charity was no longer my sister, and daddy was no longer my daddy, but my owner. He made me take a shot of my own urine one day I got a C on a test. He made me dress like Barbie and pretend like my life was perfect. But in reality, my life was a shit hole. I hated everything about it. Daddy doesn't have a good side Duncan." His eyes are closed but the dent in his forehead tells me he is listening. I close my eyes and continue. "When my sister died, he and my mom acted like we should just move on. We left the house for a new one for his so called 'promotion'. Some promotion." I chuckle and shake my head. "This was a set up. I don't remember Maverick from when I was younger, but every time I set foot out on the steps, he had that look in his eye. The day he came over, I knew what he wanted, but I couldn't give it to him. Daddy set me up. I don't know what I've done. I don't know why I was born into this world. And I don't know why I was never given away." I stop ranting and open my eyes to see Duncan not here. The room is empty but the door seems to be secured. I stand up and start calling for him.

"Duncan? Duncan?… Where'd you go?" No response. I come through a small door that Duncan got our food from and the light is out. I search for a light to turn on but trip over two poles in the floor. I land on a lamp and it turns on immediately. I fall to the floor but when I open my eyes to see what I tripped over, I scream and pull the figure into my arms.

"DUNCAN! DUNCAN NO! PLEASEE! God! HELP ME!" There's a puddle of blood on the floor and the lumps in my throat cease my screaming. He's dead! Who killed him! Two new figures step out from in front of me with guns. Between them is my mother tied up and freaking out. She's bare naked with slits in her stomach. The bloods oozing from the gaps.

"Well Bravo Courtney, you just know everything don't you." Daddy says looking down on me. "I always knew you were bright, but you have really upset me this time." I watch my father take his shot gun and load it while he speaks. "You can't do anything for me can you? Do you not realize that I can't put food on the table and support everyone in the family! Your fuckin mom don't work and I gave you a simple job. But no, you can't even do that! Just another fuck up in this family, just like you bitch ass sister." I flare my nostrils at daddy. The only fuck up in here is him! He knows it, he just wants to make me seem like the bad one. Charity was never a fuck up! Sure she did her own thing, but she never fucked up! She told me everything I needed to know to survive.

"I know what you're thinking. Charity was a big savior to you.. She watched over me and kept me safe and even warm when I needed it." I watch as he laughs loudly and shakes his head. "That bitch used you! She was glad to have a younger sister. Someone to take her place after she grew a little old for my taste. She knew I'd come after you after I finished tossing her salad. She lied to you Courtney. She told you lies." Daddy pauses and I can't believe the crap I'm hearing. Daddy did stop abusing Charity when I came into the picture. She never did try to stop him. But my sister and I had a connection!

"BullSHIT!" I shout. I stand up to lecture back to my dad that he's wrong. "Charity loved me! She even introduced me to her gay girlfriend Ginger! You know.. The girl you beat down in the yard the day she came over! Yeah that's right! Charity was gay! She disgusted you! Everything about guys grossed her out and you hated how she never reacted to your raping. But you liked how I kicked and scream-"

"CHARITY TURNED YOU INTO WHAT SHE COULD HAVE BEEN!"

"AND SHE TURNED YOU DOWN!" Daddy lunges across the room and tackles me right on top of unconscious Duncan. I hit a nerve. We fight on the floor and Maverick even has the nerve to jump in. He grabs my dads gun and aims at who he wants to shoot, my mother finds the opportunity to break free of her wrapping but Mav throws her to the floor. Daddy punches me in the face and holds me in a choke hold. He starts breathing hard inside my ear about how he killed Charity.

"You should have seen the look on her face. So vulnerable and scared. Mav and I came into her room that evening and gave her something she asked for. She didn't turn me down this time, no." Daddy licks my ear and kisses my neck. The tension is so deep inside of me. I want to the let the tiger in me escape and kill this bastard. "I kissed her naked body after I shredded her clothes off of and threw her on her bed. Maverick made love to her hard and slow while I fucked him on top. We had a party in there and your sister cried out for us to stop, but I couldn't. It felt soo good Courtney. Everything was trembling." He pauses again throws me to the floor. "But your sister caused her own death, stabbing Mav in the stomach with a pencil was a bad choice." I start trying to catch my breath and regain my strength but every word that's being put out from daddy's mouth is causing me to get more pissed off. "I took plastic wrap, wrapped her into a joint and made sure she couldn't breath. From there, Maverick sliced her skin with his box cutter. She should have just let things go the way they were planned, but she didn't. That's why I killed the bitch." My mother is screaming in tears, the terror in my heart is killing me. "And don't think too fond of your mom right now, she was apart of the plan. And tonight, it was your turn." My mother shouts it's a lie but my daddy kicks her in the face and smacks her. Laying next to Duncan, I hear him cough and his eyes open.

"DUNCAN!" I grab him and he looks at me.

"I'm so sorry Princess, I have so much to tell you. So much you don't know." Duncan whispers. I lift a questionable brow. What does that mean? Does he know something I don't? He coughs again and moans in pain. "I know everything Princess. And now I have to tell you." He pants his breathing again. "Maverick and David planned all this out. I wanted to tell you so bad, but I couldn't." I instantly become angrier. HE KNEW ALL ABOUT THIS! THE ENTIRE TIME! HE KNEW EVERY THING THAT WAS GOING ON AND NOT ONCE DID HE TRY TO STOP IT! "Maverick… he..he uh.."

"I can't believe you are telling me this!" I frown disgusted at Duncan. He's been behind the shit too! "You knew about Charity's death before I did! You even asked me to tell you about it! You told Maverick about my room and my balcony! You were the only person who came up there! You showed him how to get into my room and where! You knew he was interested in me.. You knew everything, you knew what he wanted!" Daddy turns his attention away from my mother and listens as I argue with Duncan. He aims his new pistol at the two of us.

"Tell her the truth." Daddy says to Duncan. Duncan starts to tear up and the bubbles in my stomach are rising as more shit is coming out.

"I didn't mean for this to happen Princ-cess, I was going to tell you but I.. I…"

"Maverick and I raped his ass. He knew not to tell you what was going on." WHAT THE HELL! DADDY DID DUNCAN!

"I'm not gay I swear princess I'm not!" I slam Duncan's head into the floor and the tears pour out of eye sockets.

"Y-youu liarr." I instantly get up and kick the gun from daddy's hands. He pulls the trigger and hits Duncan right in the back. He cries out in pain and I run to get the gun before Mav or daddy gets it. My mother finally unravels herself from the plastic wrap and fight Maverick. Daddy and I find ourselves on the floor fighting for the gun. When I finally break free of his grip, I travel to the other side of the room to retrieve it. I pick it up and try aim at the three people on the other side of the room. I quickly pull the trigger and roll my eyes back from the shot. Everything goes white and I feel myself fall onto the floor, right next to Duncan.


	23. I made it

There's always the question people ask about what Heaven is like. What it looks like? Who's there? And where it's at? Some dream about it, some have even seen it, but I am living it. I came into the world, not knowing what my purpose was in life. Daddy beating the brakes off me and raping every chance he could. He told me I was good at what I do, he said that I'm his best. I didn't know there was competition and I didn't know my competition was my sister. There are so many things he made us to together, strip for him, play with him.. All kinds of stuff. But he finally blew her off and found new games with me. I loved daddy but I didn't know fatherly love was like this. I knew this day would come some day. I knew I would end up not being strong enough to leave. I should have told my CPS lady right then and there what was going on in my life, but my mother made me tell lies. I know now what I don't want young children's lives to be like. Nothing compared to mine. This strictly goes out to everyone who has been in my shoes and walked the steps I've been through. I've always wanted to publish something big like this and finally I have. I made it. I, Courtney Bianca Sterling, made it into this beautiful Heaven and living freely.

**This was printed in the back of Courtney's Diary, XxSecretsxX. Her diary became a New York Times Best Seller to Young Adults and made over 1.2 million dollars. Cheryl published it just as Courtney asked the day she texted her from Duncan's phone.**

**X**

**X**

**X**

**X**

**X**

**X**

**X**

**X**

**X**

**X**

**X**

**Duncan passed away two days after Courtney's suicide and cremated**

**X**

**X**

**X**

**X**

**X**

**X**

**X**

**X**

**X**

**Courtney died that night and received a grand funeral in front of thousands of people. Ginger came and gave a speech about Courtney and Charity. She had a miscarriage two months later.**

**X**

**X**

**X**

**X**

**X**

**X**

**X**

**X**

**X**

**X**

**X**

**X**

**The abandoned house the deaths took place in were in ownership of Maverick. **

**X**

**X**

**X**

**X**

**X**

**X**

**X**

**X**

**X**

**X**

**X**

**Trent and the rest of Courtney's friends keep Duncan and Courtney inside their hearts and will carry memories of the two for the rest of their lives.**

**X**

**X**

**X**

**X**

**X**

**X**

**X**

**X**

**X**

**X**

**X**

**X**

**Maverick, David, and Courtney 'Sr.' are missing til this day…..**

A/N: I realized I left out some info. But there I fixed it. Thanks everyone for reading. Yeah I know this took a while but I kept adding on more and more everyday. I did my best to make it dramatic.. But yeahh I'm still waiting to read this one shot and very excited. I'm going to start Real World again this weekend I swear! And I'm happy to be finishing that! So give me some motivation. I actually cried writing these last two chappies. Thx for stickin whit me throughout peoples..!

-NEEN


End file.
